No one Noticed
by Severus Draconis Potter
Summary: Depressed from the death of his godfather and back to school from the worse summer he ever had, Harry is on the brink of death with no will to live. He just wants to succumb to the darkness knowing his parents are on the otherside, but someone won't let him. Why does he care when he never did before..or did he? *Not Slash*
1. Chapter 1: Happy Place

**A/N- So for anyone wondering that this story looks familiar, that because it is. This was my very first fanfiction I wrote. I put it here but my writing back then was horrible, I was going through and correcting it and I was cringing, I just couldnt fathom people reading that. I was too focused on the mistakes. Anyways I took this down to fix it, I added a bit more things to the story too. Bascially this story is complete, it is 17 chapters plus and epilogue, however I just need to go through and finish correcting. It contains no slash and its a bit dark in the beginning but his has humor. This isnt a new story for everyone who is thinking finish your current stories..I am..this one is already written. Anyways enjoy.**

**Chapter 1:**

Harry Potter quickly boarded the train with his head hung down, thankful that his hair had grown out a lot in the summer. The 6th year was glad for the temporary reprieve of his mini disguise as he didn't want to bump into anyone at the moment. His hair covered his scar and a tiny bruise on his left cheek. He walked through the train until he found a empty compartment and pulled the shades down. Locking the door with a complex locking charm, he breathed a sigh of relief. He so didn't want to be found like this. Harry took a breath and watched impassively as his glamours started to fall and and then the tired teen slumped to the floor.

This summer was by far the worse he had ever had. Dumbledore may have thought that he was helping Harry by telling the Durselys that Sirius had died, but they mocked and blamed him about it every chance they got. With the threat of his convicted godfather gone, they had no such qualms about hurting him.

He could feel the blood seeping through his thin t-shirt and and he sighed harshly. It hurt to breathe thanks to his broken ribs, and he had never felt so weak then he did in that current moment. Harry carefully took a seat, being careful not to lean back to hard not wanting to aggravate his wound. He wishes he could just close his eyes and never wake up; as he is so tired of fighting this alone. Honestly he just wished that for once someone would notice that something was wrong and help him. The train ride was silent on the way to school as it was just him and no one else. However it soon passed by quickly and all too soon he felt the train stopping, they were there. He quickly got dressed into his robes and stood up before reapplying his shields.

Harry walked off the train with his head down; oblivious to the stares he is receiving as he took a seat in the carriage with some unknown Hufflepuffs. He could hear them talking about him, wondering he he was but he ignore them. He didn't have the strength to even go there. As the carriages finally stop he looked up at Hogwarts to see the castle in all of her glory; he is finally home. He steps through the doors with the rest of his peers but finds himself unable to go to the great hall to eat dinner with everyone else. He's not sure he could even stomach food at the moment in time.

At least not the rich food from Hogwarts. But then again, only eating maybe a slice of toast a day would do that to a person. At the moment the only thing on his mind is heading to his dormitory and sleeping off all this pain. He knew that today seems so long because he's in agony. But once he has a night to sleep it off, and if he manages to knick some potions he knows he will be fine. He's gone through this so many times, it's a wonder he's still sane. With that in mind, he turned away from his classmates, intent on his dormitory.

He finds however that his feet has other plans and soon he is in front of the entrance to the 2nd floor girl's bathroom. The bathroom where Moaning Myrtle haunts and hardly has any visitors due to the ghost's wailing. Harry walks inside and tiredly lays down on the cold ground. He hisses in pain as his glamours fall once more, only this time it is because he is overcome by his exhaustion to keep them up any longer. He cries softly to himself at the excruciating pain from the injures, it's too much for him to bear.

He chokes on his sobs, trying to stop them, but his ribs don't like that, and he has no choice but to cry in earnest. It isn't long before finally cries himself to sleep. The hours pass by and his eyes still remain closed, as his breaths start getting shallower and shallower. His body is succumbing to his injuries and he is still all alone. He is not aware that his body is losing so much blood by bleeding on the inside and out, but he dreams on, he has no worries now.

In his dream he see his mother with her vibrant red hair, but instead of smiling at him with her identical green eyes she is crying softly. His breath hitches, he doesn't want to see his mother cry. Was he the cause of that? Why isn't she happy that he's here with her? And then he see his Dad and Sirius shake their heads softly as they look at him before they reach out to grab and hug him. He cannot stop the way he feels in that moment, he had never felt so much love then he did there.

"It's too soon, it's not your time," Lily breathed as she looked at her son before she hugged him tight.

His breathing starts getting even more slower, and unbeknownst it to him, someone was watching him and calculating. Harry struggles to catch his breath, all the while his mind is at peace in his happy dream. Harry's not tired or hurt here, he never wants to leave this place. As he takes what would be his last breath he hears

"Harry stay with me," from a dark and silky voice he had never thought say his name in such a gentle tone. It's all so confusing, and he wonders why.

Severus frantically tries to revive Harry but can't get his pulse. He sends a Patronus to Poppy and Dumbledore to come to them immediately. He berates himself for staying ignorant of Potter's home situation when he himself knew that the child had all the signs. His eyes take in the state of the child's body and his eyes narrowed, he would not fall apart right now.

He had a child to save, he could never live with himself if he didn't try. He had failed Lily and he was not about to fail her child. On the next Enervate his put a lot of his magic into the spell and was rewarded for his efforts when the boy coughs and looks up at him eyes bright, with pain and sadness that he never wanted to see again in those emerald green eyes.

"Why can't I stay with my Mum? I'm loved there and I don't hurt. Please Professor can't I stay?" Harry whimpered out hoarsely, in his haze he's not even aware that he is pleading to Snape of all people.

It broke Severus's long forgotten, cold heart as he heard Harry's cry to stay with his mother but he knew he couldn't leave just yet. The child was still too young, and had a long life ahead of him. Severus shook his head before sighing.

"It's not your time yet Harry, and I'm so sorry but I can't let you leave." He said in a sad voice. He was sad that this child had to suffer through all this pain, and sad that he couldn't grant the child the wish he so desperately wanted. But what kind of man would he be if he let this child die, when he hadn't even had a chance to live yet? He would fight for this boy, until he himself gained the will to live. He would not fail Lily again.


	2. Chapter 2: Sometimes it's not Worth it

Chapter 2: Sometimes it's just not Worth it

Severus couldn't help but feel like he cheated the child a chance at happiness as he took in the expression on his face, but that can't be helped. Every single teacher at Hogwarts including himself had failed this child; and all because they all saw what they wanted to see. He himself was to blame most of all. He didn't see the abuse because he was ignoring it. All he saw was a rich spoiled boy who basked in the attention. He kept mistaking Harry for James Potter. Because of the grudge against the boy's father he had been blinded by his hatred. He knew he should have seen it sooner.

And now that child who everyone had seen be so strong has shown them all along that he is still just a child. One who just one who had to grow up way too early, this could have all been prevented. What was Dumbledore thinking letting those monsters raise Lily's child? He himself knew how Petunia was as a child and could guess how Harry was treated by her. He wasn't even referring to the bruises on the child which he knew came from Vernon Dursely himself.

It's a wonder the child didn't break sooner; he guessed the loss of his mutt of a Godfather was just too much. He couldn't stop the guilt that was making his insides churn, here he had made a promise to protect this child and it was all moot. Harry was a great actor and had all of them fooled for 5 years, it's a wonder he wasn't sorted into Slytherin.

Severus snorted at the thought of the Gryffindor golden boy in Slytherin, the press would have a field day. He quickly sobered up when he realized that was probably what took the boy's sorting so long and what that represented. He knew no matter his cover for being a spy might possibly be blown because of this one particular thing. He couldn't and he wouldn't treat this child like he had been all along, he didn't want to be the one responsible for the child to completely slip over the edge instead of hanging in the balance like he was now.

Harry drifted in and out of conciousness and he stifled a groan. He couldn't catch a break, he had finally been at a place where people understood him and loved him for being him instead of what he represents; when his stupid Potions Professor had to find him. Just his luck that Snape had to be the one to find him bruised and battered body. He sighed quietly, and he could swear he could already hear the taunts he would receive from the horrible Slytherins after Snape told them.

The Boy-who-lived who couldn't even defend himself against a mere muggle, Prophecy or not they would never believe that he could defeat Voldemort. Yeah it was better if he could just die, but now he couldn't even do that thanks to Snape. He had to wonder about the ulterior motive the man had, as he couldn't believe he did it out of care. The man who probably just couldn't wait to throw this in his face as soon as everything died down again. Snape would probably say this was another ploy for attention, the git.

He couldn't stop the thoughts as they flew across his brain on ways where he could end his life the quickest way possible without anyone finding out until it was too late. As he thought about each suggestion he couldn't stop the guilt that rose up in his heart that his mother's sacrifice would have been in vain. Not to mention how much Ron and Hermione and his other friends would mourn for him but he couldn't bring himself to care in that moment. He had seen the life he could have had and would have had if Snape hadn't gotten in the way.

He was persistent and he would make it happen and no one would be able to stop him. Harry was so tired of living his life this way. He felt like he was living a lie and he didn't want to hide who he was. He was tired of living in the shadows of whom he really was and who he portrayed to people. So deep in his thoughts he didn't notice the change in Snape's posture nor his expression that no longer had an air of loathing in it. Harry was too caught up to see that but for once in his life Snape was feeling concerned for his well being instead of feeling like it was an obligation.

Harry listened as the adults talked about him as if he wasn't here, but for once he didn't care. He felt himself being lifted up off the ground by Snape and was then set on a floating stretcher that took him to his least favorite place; the infirmary. He was then placed on a bed while they listed his new injuries. He listened in morbid fascination as they described in detail what the damage was: 4 broken ribs, 1 broken wrist, a punctured lung (that nearly resulted in his death), along with some internal bleeding, and infected welts on his back and numerous bruises all over his body.

He laid in a catatonic state as they took over and started tending to them. Harry felt his eyes closing of their own accord as he drifted into a surprising calming dream. Madame Pomprey shook him awake to drink some potions to speed up his healing process. He took all of this without a word of his usual grumbling, which put both his Professor and the Medic-Witch on alert.

The child who was the most vocal about having to stay in the infirmary just stared unseeingly at them. They hadn't failed to notice that he had yet to say a word to anyone since asking Severus to let him go. They gave him some dreamless sleep to ward off his nightmares (at least that's what they told him) and he also took that without a sound. They watched as the once vibrant green eyes now dull, closed.

After dozing him with the dreamless sleep, Poppy scanned him for every injury he ever had. It was easier to do when he was sleeping because they knew he couldn't complain nor deny a thing. But they soon realized that Harry had yet to grimace at the taste of the potions let alone protest at the treatment of healing his body. It seemed like all the fight in the child had gone, and that didn't bode well for them. They had exchanged a look earlier when they saw his easily able to read face was for once blank. And instead of the bright green eyes of a child full of life, all they saw were the dull green eyes of someone who had seen too much and who had finally had enough.

That expression was so similar to Snape's that it put him on edge to see it in a face so young. In all truth the 16 year old could pass for a small 2nd year when he was indeed a 6th year. Once again Snape could curse him and his colleagues for not noticing how tiny he was when neither Lily nor James had been small in stature. After making sure that Poppy had everything under control Severus took off. He immediately headed in the direction of the Headmaster's office.

"Lemon Lollies," Severus stated with a grimace. Stepping onto the moving stairs Severus started climbing up. He took a breath to calm himself down before knocking on the door in front of him.

"Enter Severus," Albus answered quietly.

He entered the Headmaster's office and noticed how many of the trinkets that covered his office in the past were gone. He had heard about Potter's meltdown when Albus told him of the Prophecy directly after the death of his Godfather. The Headmaster was blind to so many emotions when it came to people. Severus didn't think he did it on purpose but he thought the old man could be going a bit senile.

This was the start of Harry breaking down but once again no one noticed anything out of the ordinary. They all thought it was just an act of being a teenager. How many other children had slipped through the cracks because they simply weren't paying attention to each student? How long could each child hold on too? Before he launched on the tirade of how they all neglected to watch out for Lily's child, he observed the worn out expression on Albus's face. Severus had never seen him look this old before and was forcibly reminded of Albus's age.

"Before you say anything Severus, I know I failed him. I didn't know they treated Harry liked that. Arabella never hinted at seeing any marks ever on his body. All I know is that they made him do a lot of chores when their own child did none. I regret now for never checking on him, this could have been prevented if I had only taken time to visit him." Albus replied gravely.

"I 'm to blame as well, I have taken my hatred and jealousy out on an innocent child for 5 years. I have belittled and embarrassed him for no reason other than because I felt like he deserved it. I was fighting a fight that started with his father a man he never even got to know. A man whose been dead for 16 years," Severus said regretfully, what had they done?

"I know Severus," Albus replied wearily.

"Do you know what he said to me Albus; when I finally was able to revive him? He asked me why he couldn't stay in a place where he wasn't hated and where they loved him for being just him and not the boy-who-lived. " Severus replied quietly, as he occluded his feelings away.

"My dear boys," Albus replied sorrowfully but Severus wasn't done.

"He wanted me to let him go Albus, a mere child asked me to let him die. Knowing that I am a part of the reason why he hates life, I cannot treat him as I once did. I don't want to be the one that puts him over the edge to destroy himself. I already have his mother's death on my slate; I don't want her son's; no matter how much I despised his father." Severus finished with a sigh as he took a seat. He body sagged, and he had never felt as old as he did in that moment.

"I wouldn't ask that of you Severus, I apologize if I ever gave you the impression that I did. You are in fact going to have to help him come back to himself, for I fear that he has seen the dark side of life and he might be tempted by what he sees." Albus said mournfully.

"You think that there is a chance of Potter going dark?" Severus was horrified at the thought, the last thing he needed was another Dark Lord.

"No; not the dark side as in evil; But the dark side of life. When you saved his life you took away a chance to be with his deceased loved ones. Even if it wasn't his time he won't see it that way. That's probably the best he ever felt. Who's to say he won't attempt to take his own life so he can be with them again?" Albus replied thoughtfully, he could only imagine the type of pain the child was going through.

"He's the Gryffindor golden boy; he would never do anything that selfish." Severus said in disbelief, he refused to believe that Potter would be capable of something like this. The boy he knew(as much as he didn't want to admit) wasn't selfish.

"Of course Severus", the Headmaster said placating him. "Just promise me you'll watch him."

Severus shook his head in annoyance; he was going to do that anyway. "Of course Headmaster, I have to go back and check-in with my snakes," he murmured his thoughts still trying to figure out how quickly things had already changed.

"Goodnight my boy." Albus replied with a sigh.

"Goodnight Headmaster," Severus replied as he walked out the man's office and headed to the dungeons.

As he gave his yearly speech for his first years he decided tomorrow instead of tonight they would visit the infirmary for a check-up. When he dismissed them he was stopped by Draco Malfoy who insisted on speaking with him. Truth is; all Severus wanted to do was check on Potter, get a drink, and go to bed.

This had been an emotional and stressful day; that had crushed his beliefs about one of his student's home life into non-existent. But since he was a Head of house he had a responsibility to the students and he didn't want to fail another. So he walked into his office with Draco behind him. He put up the privacy spells and waited for him to start speaking.

Harry stifled a scream, lest he wake up Uncle Vernon again. As he waited for his heart to still, he smelled the familiar smell of antiseptic and remembered that he was in the infirmary at Hogwarts. They had given him dreamless sleep unaware that it tended to lock him in his dreams instead of giving him none. He looked at the clock to see it read 2:48am; he sighed as he was now unable to get back to sleep. He sat there thinking unpleasant thoughts until about 4:30am where he once again dozed off. When he awoke again it was to Madame Pompfrey bringing him breakfast and an assortment of potions to take.

Harry ate almost half of it when he felt like he would throw it all it back up so he stopped. He took off his glasses to lay back down when he noticed a man in black walking toward him. He felt his heart stop then pick backed up over time; and it suddenly became hard to breath. For a second he thought it was Uncle Vernon and he was thrown back into Privet Drive. He couldn't catch his breath, he felt like he was drowning on air and things started to blur in front of him.

He was so scared that he screamed when he felt the man touch his shoulder and nearly fell off the bed in an attempt to get away but the man held tight. He heard the man's soft silky voice and a vial at his lips while he told him to drink; it was a calming potion. He knew immediately who it was once the figure started talking. Harry was so embarrassed, he hadn't had a panic attack in front of someone since he was 11, and now he just had one in front of Snape of all people.

Why do these things keep happening in his presence, he hated that he was unfortunately giving him more information he could use to hurt him with. Harry shuddered at the things Snape could blackmail him into doing, and he was extremely grateful for the calming draught already in his stomach. He could see Snape looking at him but his eyes remain firmly on his blankets unable and unwilling to look him in the eyes.

Severus stared at the meek child with his eyes on the floor in front of him. What had those damn muggles done to him? What happened to the defiant teenager with that spark in his emerald eyes? Why had he suddenly been replaced him with this scared, timid child afraid to give eye contact?

Severus knew only Albus could stop him from making a trip to Surrey to the muggles. And by the time he got through with them, they would be begging they got prison. What kind of monsters would do this to child for merely existing? He stopped his musings so he could question the boy, hoping that the calming stay in effect the entire conversation.

"Potter, do you want to tell me how you got your injuries?" Severus asked quietly, not really expecting an answer but a shake of the head would do. But he didn't even get that, and he sighed. This was usually the hardest part for abused children to deal with, talking about the abuse they had long guarded. It unhinged them, he understood why after all he had been there.

"Potter, you have to talk to about this some time. I know it hurts and it's unpleasant, but you must do it ok?" Severus said trying again, trying not to let his irritation show at being ignored. It was hard to control his emotions around this particular child, especially when the boy blatantly was ignoring him.

"Potter, answer me dammit! I saved your life boy. The least you could be doing is thanking me by talking to me!" He said in a dangerous voice that bordered on yelling. He regretted the words the instant they came out, but he could not take them back.

Severus knew the minute the child flinched at the tone and level of his voice he knew he had made a grave mistake. The reaction he was hoping to get was an attitude remark laced with rebellion that he usually got when he dealt with Potter but he should have known given their current situation that it wasn't to be. In the saddest voice he had ever heard; Potter replied in a hoarse voice.

"I never asked you to save me, matter fact I asked you to let me stay. But for some sick joke you brought me back from the brink of death and I hate you for it. I want to be with my family instead of suffering here for people who turn on me in a drop of a hat if something goes wrong." Harry replied softly.

"I'm sorry Harry that you felt that I took that chance away from you but I don't regret doing it, not now nor will I ever. It wasn't your time to go yet." Severus explained gently.

"It sure felt like it, I had never felt so much love towards me before. I'm tired of being the boy-who-lived, why couldn't I just bloody die like normal people? I'm just so tired of being that image, I just want to be me, the one I kept hidden from the world, the real me. But the wizarding world isn't ready for that." Harry replied with a frown. Didn't the man get it? Why couldn't he see?

"I won't apologize for saving your life Potter, but I do see your point. Either way if I had a chance to do it over I would still save you. You're parents died for you; Lily gave up her life for yours. Do you really want her sacrifice to be in vain?" Severus asked, his dark gaze piercing as he stared into the emeralds one.

"I just want a choice in my life is all," Harry replied with a sigh.

Severus nodded, pocketing what the boy said for later. He had something much more important to discuss with him. This was the first step in allowing the boy to heal, plus the more evidence they had against the muggles the better.

"So can you tell me about the Durselys?" Severus asked casually as he took a seat.

"How come you want to know so badly? Are you going to use my answers in anyway against me in the future?" Harry asked skeptically.

"No! Why…how could you think that?" Severus asked in disbelief.

"Because up until yesterday you hated my guts and would use this to taunt me." Harry pointed out with a shrug.

"You have my word; I would never use anything I learned about your home life against you." Severus said firmly, to show the boy he meant it.

"Can you swear it? Like an oath?" Harry asked after a moment, if the man couldn't swear it then he couldn't trust him.

Severus shook his head as he heard the request. What type of child was so afraid that everyone is going to hurt him that he is afraid to trust, lest he get hurt? It saddened him to think on it, especially the fact that Lily's child was the one who was hurt. He sighed though, because sadly he had been there.

"I Severus Snape do swear on my magic that I will never use the information that Harry Potter tells me about his home life to hurt him in anyway. So mote it be," Severus stated.

Harry watched as the bright light of Snape's magic surround his Professor as he bounded the oath. There really was no going back now was it? He wondered how much Snape wanted to know about the Durselys. He guessed that he did owe the man by telling him the story since he had saved his life, even if it was unwarranted. There was a period of silence as they each gathered their thoughts together.

"So what did you want to know?" Harry couldn't help but ask.

"All of it", was Snape's casual answer.

"You have to be a bit simpler than that," Harry said trying to stall.

"When did the Abuse start?" Severus asked bluntly.


	3. Chapter 3: When in Doubt Deny Everything

Chapter 3: When in Doubt Deny Everything

"Abuse? They don't abuse me sir." Harry said in confusion, his heart however was pounding. Why did the man have to be so blunt with it? His survival instincts had kicked in and he knew that unless he deny, deny, deny he would be in serious trouble when his Uncle found out.

"Potter, please do not insult my intelligence by blatantly lying to me when the evidence is clearly on display for the world to see." Severus drawled out.

Severus couldn't stop the eyebrows that went up on his own accord at the lie that Potter just spouted. He had almost forgotten that denial was a given when it came to getting children to speak out about their home life to protect themselves. This might take a while, but he would stay here for as long as it took.

"Then pray tell me how you received your injuries Potter?" Severus asked in a tone that told the child he was simply humoring him.

"Of course sir, I was riding my bike down this huge hill, hit a pebble and flew off it. I was lucky that I had my helmet on because my body crashed into a tree and man did it hurt," He replied seriously.

Harry had said that with wide innocent eyes and such an innocent voice that Severus could almost believe him for a second until he remembered the hand-printed colored bruises on the child's arms and pointed it out.

"Okay… but can you explain those hand-shaped bruises on both of your arms?" Severus asked with a quirk of his eyebrow, wondering how the boy was planning on lying his way out of this one.

"Oh that? My friend Rick was pulling me to walk faster, but he gripped me a little too hard, hence the bruises. No matter, all is forgiven," Harry replied with a sheepish look on his face.

Severus couldn't believe it, since when was Potter such a good liar? His answers were exactly on point. He was very tempted at that point to legitimize the child but he knew that for one Albus would kill him. Not to mention this small share of camaraderie that they were showing would officially end. Severus decided to try another tactic that usually worked without fail on his Slytherins. Guilt coupled with disappointment; it was harsh but then again he wasn't the Slytherin Head of house for nothing.

"I don't understand why you're lying to me Harry and why you are defending them. You are betraying yourself because you'll just have to go back to the Durselys unless the truth comes out." Severus said with a depressed voice as if he was giving up on the child.

Severus of course was lying as well; Harry was not going back to the muggles no matter what happened. But at the moment the boy didn't know that yet. He could see the boy's eyes widen again only this time he saw traces of fear and uncertainty in them. He continued, knowing that as much as it paned him he needed to break that.

"I'm very disappointed in you Harry, I can admit when I'm wrong, and I would have thought that a Gryffindor like yourself could too. I guess I was wrong about you," Severus said with a shake of his head before pushing back his chair as if he was about to get up and leave.

Throughout his speech Severus watched as Harry's carefully constructed blank mask started to crumble down. He knew the use of his given name coming from him would be his breaking point. Severus was completely blown away by the words starting to come out of the boy's mouth however.

"Fine," Harry replied in a weary voice that didn't fit him. "Since you really want to know, then I'll tell you. I'm a worthless freak, a burden to all the normal people, and a huge waste of space." Harry said matter-factly, as if he truly believed it.

Severus was appalled, how dare those muggles tell Lily's child that. He struggled to calm his temper and before Harry's eyes, drunk a calming draught like he had just given the child. It wouldn't do for Severus to get angry and accidentally frighten the child. He motioned for him to continue on with the story.

"They didn't like me because I did magic, and I didn't even know that I was a wizard until Hagrid came to get me. They made me do chores so I could earn my keep." Harry replied as his gaze took a faraway look on it as the memories came forth.

"What kind of chores Harry?" Severus asked, now unintentionally calling him by his first name.

"Stuff like, gardening, cooking, and cleaning the house and their rooms. I did dusting, washing clothes, the windows and doing the lawn. Stuff like that." Harry replied as he ticked each chore off with his fingers.

"How old were you when this all started?" Severus asked in horror, this was a far cry then what he had originally thought.

"I was 5, I remember making eggs and crying because I slipped and burnt my hand on the stove," Harry murmured with a sigh.

"They had you working like a house elf with no pay, and they were given 700 pounds a month for keeping you. That is why I assumed you were spoiled," Severus replied with a shake of his head. Those bastards, how dare they?

Severus could see the child literally start to come apart at the seams before his very eyes. Before he could even think of comforting him he watched as Potter visibly straightened up and put his face in a neutral expression and he longed to know once again what the child was thinking of.

Harry couldn't believe it, all their talk of them taking him in out of the goodness of their hearts was all for naught when they were getting paid to keep him; those jerks. He could now understand why Voldemort hated muggles, he would never join the dark side but he was a bit sympathetic to the cause now. He felt a little ashamed and ill at the thought of understanding his parent's murderer.

"I got all of Dudley's old clothes, and I wasn't allowed to have a bedroom so I slept in my cup… I mean somewhere else." Harry said faltering on the words.

Harry couldn't bring himself to talk about the cupboard and what it represented, nor could he bring himself to talk about Uncle Vernon's punishments, even if the evidence was clear as day.

Severus knew that Harry was holding something back but let it go for now. The boy had already acknowledged said abuse, so he decided to stop the questioning for now. Severus decided to leave him at this time to prepare for classes.

Harry was glad that Snape was leaving; he could finally let his masks down. He struggled to control the tears in his eyes that threatened to fall down his cheeks. He couldn't believe they were getting money for him and still treated him like dirt. Harry closed the curtains around his bed; he didn't want someone to come in and see him on the verge of breaking down. He was just so hurt, and he just wished he could have something to take away the pain. He felt like the hurt was tearing his insides apart.

Once again the thought of ending his life started to come back into play. He didn't want to think about what he couldn't have at the moment. But he was drowning in all his emotional grief and he couldn't think about anything else. He reached towards the dresser for a glass a water to swallow the lump in his throat when his arm got caught in between the dresser and bed. When pulled it back up there was a long gash with blood dribbling off where the desk had cut his arm.

So focused on the physical pain, his emotional hurt was almost non-existent. He had found a way to keep his emotions at bay until he could end it all. He conjured up a razor and proceeded to decorate his arm in many slashes. He breathed in a sigh of relief at every cut he made. He quickly finished and put a glamour on his arm in parseltongue to hide the evidence.

It wouldn't do to give them another reason to doubt his sanity, or to keep an eye on him. He was just so tired, never stopping to think the loss of blood had aided in that. He closed his eyes to try to sleep and once again fell into a peaceful sleep where he dreamed of being with his parents. He smiled to himself knowing he would be with them soon.

Severus herded the first years to the infirmary for his and Poppy's annual check-up on the new Slytherins. They usually found at least 5 children a year with questionable injuries. Just once in his teaching career would he like one year where there was no children abused by their guardians. As they were being examined he looked over and saw that the curtains around Harry's bed were drawn.

As Poppy took care of his first years, he walked over and peeked through the curtains and saw that Harry was sleeping contently with a peaceful expression on his face. He put a modified silencing charm around his bed that would notify Poppy if he woke up but kept the sounds from inside the infirmary away from him. Satisfied that the child wouldn't wake up he turned back to his snakes.

Severus was at a standstill about how to treat Harry, he knew that due to the nature of his current role in the war he couldn't afford to treat him nice in front of the students or teachers, least the death eater children report back to their parent, and have his cover nearly blown. But at the same time he couldn't treat him like he did before.

What kind of message would he be sending to the poor child; confess your fears and I'll exploit you later? Right, that would definitely be telling the child how much he was worth, nothing in his eyes. He absolutely refused to do that. Maybe he could speak to Harry in private about it. He was confused about his protective feelings he was getting for the child of his enemy.

The next day had Severus walking into the infirmary where he heard Granger and Weasley trying to get passed the tyrant known as Madame Pompfrey who was telling them quite forcibly about not being able to visit Harry in the bed. Where were they when all this was happening? Severus thought to himself? Some friends right? He would have to talk to Granger and Weasley when he had a chance.

He heard Harry's blank tone reply in accordance to Poppy's words and Severus had to wonder to himself if Potter had ever sounded like that before. It was a disturbing tone, one that you would never want to hear in a child voice; it was dead and full of resignation.

The next morning when Harry woke up he was refreshed and in a good mood until he heard Ron and Hermione's voices. He didn't want to deal with them today. Now they want to know what was happening after the fact that it happened. Where were they when he needed them? Aware of how his voice sounded he replied that he was to tired and didn't want any visitors because he was going back to sleep.

After they left, Harry wasn't feeling the least bit guilty about lying to his friends. He then went into the bathroom to shower. As he showered he let his glamour's fall, and was almost in a trance by the way the scars looked on his arms, he loved it. He finished with his shower and put his now long hair back into a pony tail and walked out to see Snape sitting in a chair by his bed. Wondering what the heck he was doing here, he casually walked back to his bed and sat down.

Severus was once again angry at how no one seemed to realize how this child was treated. The clothes that he had on were new courtesy, of Severus who had gone out and bought for the child once he had seen the rags in the boy's trunk. Because the knew clothes fit him, they could see just how thin the child was.

He would need to take nutrient potions for a while to help him long; although he would never be as tall as his year mates he wouldn't stay the size he was now. Severus shook his head, that wasn't what he was here today for. He was to finish talking about his home life. He put his hand over his eyes sighed and started the painful conversations.

"Good Morning Mr. Potter," Severus stated conversationally.

"Good Morning Sir," Harry replied in a soft voice

"How are you feeling today?" Severus asked genuinely curious on how the boy was doing.

"I'm fine sir," Harry answered carefully, still confused on why the man was here.

"Well the reason I'm here is because we are going to finish the conversation we started yesterday about the Durselys. Now how did you acquire those injuries on your body that led to you being in the infirmary?" Severus ask professionally, he was trying to make this as quick as possible.

"It was my going away gift, since they have no control over me for going to the freaky school every year." Harry replied tiredly, knowing there was no point to deny. Snape had taken the vow there was no way to evade this. He ignored the part of him, that seemed relieved that he was finally sharing the truth with someone.

"What did he say to you?" Severus asked quietly, knowing that with physical abuse verbal was never far away.

"That I deserve this punishment and that if anyone cared they would have put a stop to this long ago," Harry mumbled out. And honestly he had to agree with his Uncle about that part at least. No one cared, and this all went unnoticed until the man went too fair.

"You do know that is not true right?" No child deserves to be treated like that," Severus told him tightly. "And we care, even if we don't always show it. I'm just sorry it took us so long to see," he admitted quietly.

"Sure..." Harry replied with a shrug. It was kinda hard to believe, especially if you were told this your entire life. He had load of time to think on it, if it wasn't true why would his relatives constantly say it to him? He convinced himself rather quickly that his teacher was lying to him.

It hurt Severus's soul for that child to believe that his self-worth was that low. To think that you're a freak just because you can do magic, when you were born that way! It was just jealousy that fueled the hatred which turned into abuse. If only they had known! He could now understand why he didn't tell anyone. The poor child didn't believe he deserved kindness.

"We'll work on that Harry." You are worth something; your life has a purpose in this world." Severus said steadily, he would get the boy to believe his words in time.

"Yeah of course it does. I'm the goddamn savior of the wizarding world" Harry replied bitterly.

"What? No that is not what I meant, you don't have to save the world Harry," Severus said with a frown. What made the boy think he did?

"I do, Dumbledore said so, besides there is that stupid prophecy..." Harry rushed out, before shutting his mouth at the look Snape was now giving the wall.

"I know about that, you are just a child; and you do NOT have to save us. There are plenty of witches and wizards more powerful then you who are capable of dealing the Dark Lord. Prophecies are just that, you took divination, that's not what makes them true." Severus stated, angry at how Albus had told the boy the prophecy. It was a wonder the child was still on the light side, it goes to show just how strong the child really was.

"Okay," Harry replied wanting the man to stop lecturing him. "Do you know when I'll be able to get out of the infirmary sir?" He said trying to change the subject.

Severus wanted to know what happened to the brat who would rather serve a detention then give him the respect and call him sir, The boy had been calling him that at nearly every sentence.

"Not for a while Mr. Potter, Poppy found out that you've broken your wrist numerous times in the past. Which wouldn't be a problem only due to it healing incorrectly it's going to take about a week to fully fix it so you won't have any problems in the future with it." Severus told him with a sigh.

"Oh a week huh?" Harry sighed softly; he wouldn't be able to put his plan into action if he was stuck in the infirmary.

"The Headmaster has given you the choice of staying here or staying with me. Which do you prefer?" Severus asked though he was pretty sure the boy was going to choose the infirmary.

Harry smiled inwardly, this was almost too easy. He could 'take care' of himself when Snape went to teach his classes. Harry knew that he would have to take into account that man might check on him during break and he didn't want to set his plan only to have Snape foil it. He knew if the man did he would place various alarm and trackers on him to alert him if Harry attempted it again.

It was a perfect plan; He just only hoped that Snape wouldn't be sad that Harry had killed himself, since he worked so hard to save him the first time. Harry shook his head, what the hell was he talking about? Snape hated his guts. But he couldn't help thinking back on why did Snape comfort him when he was having a panic attack? Or talk about the Durselys when no one else did? Why did he seem care about him now when he never did before?

Harry was confused for the moment before he reasoned out that Dumbledore had probably told Snape to be nice to Harry. In retrospect that sucked if he was being honest, but that was his life. No one else could care for him without the Headmaster prompting them first? How pathetic was that? He was too much trouble and not worth it. Even his so-called family thought so; just a freak incapable of being loved. Yes this was the best thing to do. Madame Pompfrey would constantly have an eye on him and he would never be able to escape.

"I'd rather stay with you sir, Madame Pompfrey would treat me like an invalid, but you wouldn't. You'll treat me how I deserve." Harry said matter factually.

Severus pondered on Harry's words; did the child honestly think that he would still treat him like he did after discovering his horrid home life? From the look on Potter's face he obviously did.

"Well let's go while classes are still in session then," Severus murmured wanting to move the boy before anyone could see him with him. It wasn't that he was ashamed of him, no it was simply that he did not to dawn the Slytherin head of house mask. He still hadn't figured out just what he planned to do with the child in question. Whatever he did, he knew that he had to be careful, not matter what.

He could see that Albus was right, and the world of Harry Potter he knew that the child was far from being okay. He knew that the child staying with him was for the best, but he couldn't help wondering was their ulterior motive for this. That thought alone would keep him on his toes, he knew.


	4. Chapter 4:What is Trust?

**__****A/N- Kudos to those who remember this story. This is my baby, and it's been revamped and everything, this chapter is twice as long as it used to be with much more useful information. So you guys get this before P&S as it doesnt allowed me to upload it over there. enjoy!**

_**Parsel-Tongue**_

_Memories, or a small flashback of sorts_  
  
**Chapter 4: What is Trust?**

To say the Potion's Master was shocked that Harry had chosen to live with him; the greasy git of the dungeons was an understatement. The teen could see the puzzlement on the normally expressionless face at his answer before it was blanked away. Harry couldn't help but feel a tad guilty about deceiving him, but it was his only chance to be happy.

He figured that he would go to the Owlery and say goodbye to Hedwig before heading down into the Chamber of Secrets where he would then slit his wrists and drink a dreamless sleep potion. It was in his opinion a fool proof way to die; unless he somehow beat the odds and survived again. That would suck and if that way failed he was just going to surrender himself to Voldemort. He followed his teacher further in the dungeons, amazed at deep they went as this was the furthest he had ever been in. He jerked to a stop as the man stood in front of a portrait of Salazar Slytherin with a snake around his stomach.

"_**Do you ssssmell that Ssssalazar? The young one there hassss been hurt quite extenssssively and not jusssst on the outsssside either. He'ssss drowning in grief. We are going to have to watch out for thisssss one, lest he doesss ssssomething sssstupid," the snake hissed out.**_

"_**For the record I'm sssstanding right here and I can undersssstand every ssssingle word you're sssaying. Pleasssse don't talk about me assss if I'm not here. Harry replied, obviously annoyed that they were talking about him as if he wasn't here.**_

_**Apologiessss young sssspeaker, that old ssssnake there is Ssssslither and he didn't mean any harm. He didn't know that you could sssspeak the language of the ssssnakesss, not many can. Come back and talk with me young one it'ssss been a while ssssince I've sssspoken with another sssspeaker, and Sssssseverusss lookssss more annoyed than usssual.***_

"Salazar, do you think you could let us in sometime today?" Severus drawled out.

"Apologies Severus I just got excited for speaking with a fellow speaker. What's the password?" The portrait requested.

"Lily Flower," Severus pronounced carefully so Harry would be able to catch it. Hopefully the boy would use his common sense and not ask why his password was such.

They walked into the Potion Master's quarters, and the man was startled to say the least when the boy started hissing at the portrait. He wasn't used to hearing those sounds without feeling a sense of dread in fear in his stomach. The child's eyes were wide as he took in Severus's quarters. They were very homey and Harry loved the color blue around the living room. He would have thought that Snape being the Slytherin Head of House would have green throughout his flat but he was wrong.

Severus showed Harry to his room and told him to go lie down and rest for a few hours and he would be in his lab. He warned him not to go searching through his things, as he had an urgent potion that he needed to tend too. He didn't think about much only on his brewing potion and also didn't fully realize that he had failed to give the boy a proper tour of his quarters. He should have though.

Harry watched Snape walk off to his lab, not wanting to get into trouble with the man so soon after all that he did. Even though he hadn't done anything but slept that morning, he was feeling quite tired from the walk down here. He huffed, as he was unuse to feeling this week, especially when it wasnt any ailing injuries that were the cause of it. As far as he was concerned he was fully healed, even if the open welts on his back spoke otherwise. At the moment they weren't stinging so for the time being he would pretend that he was just a normal boy.

With that thought he yawned before carefully allowing himself down on the inviting bed. He gasped softly in surprise as the soft dark brown comforter seemed to mold with his body; and couldn't remember when he had laid in a bed this comfortable. Pulling the elastic loose from his hair he shook it out and promptly fell asleep. He managed to sleep about 4 hours of dreamless sleep, even though he had taken no potion. And when he woke up again around 3pm, he was very much content.

This bed did wonders, he sat up and stretched and took a proper look around the room. It had a desk, a wardrobe, a dresser and in the corner of the room it looked to be a toy chest. Since when did Snape have a kid? Shaking his head he made his way to the doorway and poked his head outside of it. He was dismayed to find that Snape seemed to still be in his lab. That wouldn't be a problem as he liked the fact that the man didn't hover over him.

However he had gotten no tour so how was he to know which room was the toilet? He huffed to himself, knowing that he could just go to each door and open it and see but he knew that was an insane plan if he every heard one. With his horrible luck Snape would come out of his lab just as he would be opening his bedroom door and he shuddered not liking the outcome of that. Behind closed doors anything could happen, he knew that first hand.

He turned back into his room and shut the door, trying to look around for something that he could use as he had no intention of wetting himself. Oh yeah he could see Snape telling his Slytherins that particular detail. At the thought of the snakes Harry got a weird feeling in his stomach, knowing he had forgotten to do something but he wasn't sure just what it was. His mind was still fuzzy, and he blamed the blow to the head from his Uncle and all the potions in his system.

Brushing it off for the moment as he had more important things to do, he went back to looking for some type of bottle, or in Snape's case a cauldron. After 15 minutes of fruitless searching he had to admit that he was starting to run into some kind of trouble with his bladder. Didn't anyone realize that potions were liquid and clearly could go throw someone fairly quickly.

"Snape!" He called out his urgent need getting the better of him. He held his breath as he tried to hear if the man had heard him.

He was of two minds at the moment, he wanted the man to hear him but at the same time he didn't. Sadly though as he didn't hear any footsteps he figured the Potion's Master didn't hear him. Harry stood up by the bed not wanting to mess it up in case he wasn't able to hold it. He was starting to think realistically and he didn't like his chances the way things were going now. As he started to think that the stupid man wouldn't ever come for him, he felt to his horror the memories coming forth that he had been trying hard to suppress.

_In his cupboard having been locked in all day because he had turned his teacher's hair blue with no knowledge how he had done. What a freak...Begging...for them to let him out...He needed the toilet. His horror...as he realized he had wet himself...and then laughter from Dudley and then Aunt Petunia sneering at him...and then his Uncle's angry face..he knew what that expression meant._

Harry wasn't totally aware of what was going on around him, and it didn't really matter as he rode the memory out. He currently had his arms up, as if to protect himself from the blows. In his memory they hadn't been much help, but he couldn't stand there and just accept it. It didn't last as long as some of them usually did, but when he came back to himself he was panting heavily. It was as if he just got done running at Quidditch practice, and to his embarrassment he could feel that his brand new jeans were warm and wet. Great, he had pissed himself.

It was during that small moment of self disgust when Snape finally came through the door of his room. He stared at the man enraged, this was just his luck. And while a part of him was terrified of what the man would do to him, he was also pissed the fuck off. How dare he? This was just too perfect of a timing and his eyes narrowed at the implications of that though. He didn't even have his wand come to think of it so he couldn't even spell himself clean. This was a set up, he knew it.

"You bastard," Harry hissed out furiously, watching with a sort of grim amusement as the eyebrows of the man disappeared in his hairline.

"Excuse me?" Severus said in a dangerous tone, as he looked at the child. He wasn't blind, he could see the wet pants and he winced as an afterthought. He knew he had been forgetting something but everything always took a backseat when it came to his potions. And this was the price to pay for his forgetfulness. Whatever bit of trust the child may have had with him, was suddenly gone he knew.

"You heard me. I know you heard me calling you. I bet you're just loving this, one more up on James Potter. News flash Snape, he's dead. You prick," Harry ranted at his teacher, his common sense was gone and had flown right out the window; along with his sanity.

Severus clenched his jaw, it wouldn't do any good for him to say anything out of anger, Harry was clearly doing that enough for both of them. He couldn't honestly blame the child if he was being honest, but he truly had forgotten.

Harry scoffed at the man, but inwardly he was embarrassed beyond belief. Not to mention on edge, Snape had yet to say anything. Any other time and he knew he would have gotten hit with loss of point and a week of detention at the least.

"I'm not sure if you believe Mr. Potter, but it was not my intention for you...for me to find you in this state. I must apologize as I realized I neglected to show you around my quarters," Severus stated carefully, enunciating each word slowly as he breathed out calmly. He had gotten his anger under control, and had even thrown an apology in there. Mainly because he knew he had been at fault, and he was seriously still worried about the child being pushed over the edge.

Harry stared at his teacher impassively for a moment, unable to believe his ears. Had he just heard correctly? Snape hadn't risen to the taunt of his father, nor had he belittled him. In fact he had apologized to him. What the hell was going on? He rolled his shoulders, unable to relax even a fraction. This was unfamiliar territory to him and he didn't like it.

When it became obvious that the child in question wasn't going to reply Severus pulled out his wand. "Would you like me to spell you clean?"

Harry lips took on a pinched look as he nodded curtly to the man. "Where's my wand?" He asked tightly.

"I have it, and no I didn't break it nor am I planning to keep it," Severus told him as he spelled the child and the floor below him clean.

"When can I get it?" Harry asked in a controlled voice.

Severus stared at the boy, he didn't like the tone of the child. His tone spoke violence but his posture screamed fear. It was disconcerting to say the least. "When I deem you fit to get it," he said slowly.

Harry swallowed his retort at that, but he was seething with rage. He made himself calm down when he felt something shaking to the left of him. He knew it was his magic and he balled his hands into fists allowing his finger nails to pierce his palm so he could calm down. It worked surprisingly as he narrowed his eyes at the man, who seemed to be calculating something.

"What?" Harry stated rudely.

"Why didn't you, come knock on my lab door if you were in such an urgent need?" Severus asked plainly, he was occluding as the child was really working his last nerves. But he knew he couldn't snap at him, that was not the way to go. He was watching the boy's facial expressions rather closely and was finally rewarded when he saw the anger leave at his question. He didn't like the change however; as sadness and a shame seemed to erase the anger.

"I wasn't sure if that would be okay," Harry admitted quietly.

"Why wouldn't that be okay?" Severus questioned.

"Because at the Durselys it never was, all right!" He rushed out before rolling his eyes, and turning away from the man. His anger was gone in that moment, having deflated him like a balloon. He didn't want to tell the man how worthless they constantly they made him feel, and that years of hearing it he now knew it to be true. He didn't want his teacher to see what a freak he was.

"Don't close yourself off from me Potter. They were wrong, none of what they told you were right at all. Do you hear me?" Severus said through his suddenly clenched teeth. How dare those monsters treat Lily's child as such. What other horrors had he gone through?

"I hear you Snape," Harry choked out but 16 years of abuse wasn't just going to go away in one day. He heard the man, but he didn't really hear his words.

"Now tell me. Why wasn't it okay to knock on the door?" Severus demanded in a quiet voice.

"At the Durselys I was always told that since I was a freak, I didn't have rights. And that I was only allowed to use the toilet, shower, stuff like that, if they felt like letting me out." Harry admitted with shame clearly on his face. Though he had to admit that once he had confessed that, he strangely felt a bit lighter.

"Let you out of what?" Severus asked dread in his tone. He could vaguely remember Minerva ranting at him about Potter's letter being address to a cupboard, but he had sneered at her until she left. But now, he started to wonder just what the hell had really been going on in that house.

"Dudley's second bedroom, it had about 1 dozen locks on door with bars on the windows. They 'gave' it to me after I got my first letter to Hogwarts," Harry said a small smile gracing his face as he remembered the feeling of finally getting away from them.

"Where were you before?" Severus asked carefully.

"Somewhere else," Harry said smoothly but he wasn't about to explain the cupboard. Besides the look on Snape's face was starting to scare him slightly, the expression was a knowing one and he didn't like it.

"So you didn't come to my lab because you thought you weren't allowed too?" Severus asked, getting back at the question at hand when it became clear that the boy wasn't going to give him a whole answer about where he had been sleeping before he got this room. Currently he was trying to understand the child's logic and why he didn't seek him out. They weren't at the Durselys now, so those rules shouldn't even apply.

"Yes sir, I don't know your rules for your living quarters. And I didn't want to get into trouble, if they are anything like your rules in class," Harry replied glad they were back on almost steady ground, conversation wise. This he could answer, without sounding like a liar at least.

Severus was across from him having an internal battle in his mind. Merlin save him from this mess. What was going through this child's head? He knew that he needed to address this new situation with Potter. How had he ever claimed to know this child for 5 years? He was an enigma if he ever saw one and he didn't like it.

"Harry, we are at school are we not?" The Potion Master asked, trying another tactic at this point.

"Yes Sir, we are," Harry replied confusion evident in his tone. He was unsure of the changed subject, what was going on? And just why was Snape calling him by his first name?

"And has a teacher here ever denied you the right to use the toilet here?" Severus asked him honestly.

"I don't know sir, I've never asked. Anytime I've had to go I just held it in and waited until the class was over." Harry told him honestly.

He had learned in primary school to do that, because the Durselys had told everyone that he was the resident trouble maker. The teachers never gave him a chance, except one but he wasn't going to think about her at the moment. He was never allowed to be excused from class to go to the toilet, and he just kept the habit. Besides if he was being honest, he wouldn't put it pass Snape to deny him, well before probably but he knew not now.

"What about during the exams?" Severus pushed, he was trying to prove a point here, but he didn't seem to be getting anywhere.

"I usually go beforehand," was the teen's answer as he took a seat on the bed. This was turning out to be a long conversation and he was tired of standing.

Severus was getting frustrated this didn't sound like the child he knew. This boy clearly thought ahead, maybe that Gryffindor impulse wasn't at the front part of his brain like he thought. He pulled the chair from the desk and took a seat as he gathered his thoughts together. He couldn't help but to think what else this child had hid from them all. He was beginning to think that Harry Potter had been sorted wrong. The characteristics the child was currently displaying screamed of Slytherin.

"I'm beginning to think the sorting hat put you in the wrong house." Severus stated quietly, he wasn't trying to get a reaction out of the boy. This time he was just stating a fact.

"That's because it did," Harry replied with a sly smirk.

"Are you going to explain any of that?" Severus asked softly, not wanting to let on that he was dying to know.

"It wanted to put me into Slytherin, it still does in fact. Only I didn't let it because my 1st friends which were Ron and Hagrid told me that all Slytherins were dark. So I begged it to put me in Gryffindor. It kept saying I would be great, and Slytherin would help me on the way. I was young and naïve and I didn't listen to it. There isn't a day that goes by that I wish I hadn't chosen Gryffindor," Harry explained, and by the end of it his voice had taken on a slight wistful tone.

"Dumbledore was right," Severus murmured with a shake of his head. "A Potter in Slytherin," he sighed out.

"Yep, you would have seen early on that I wasn't spoiled. You would have seen the real me first, just because I would have been one of your snakes. Slytherins take care of their own," Harry quoted out, but there was no bitterness in his voice, only truth.

"How do you know our motto?" Severus asked quietly, as he turned to truly look at the boy across from him.

Harry shook his head at the question, he wasn't about to answer that. Snape wouldn't believe him anyway and he didn't want to open that can of worms.

"Alright fine, we'll come back to this another time as we need to get back to the situation at hand," Severus relented when it became clear the child had become tight-lipped. He also needed some time to digest this new information he had been given. One thing that kept coming back to him was the Slytherin motto, that was only said in their common room, how had Potter known?

"What situation?" Harry asked with a sigh, he was tired of talking now.

"That using the toilet is your right. Once again the Durselys are wrong, you never have to hold it here or ask to use it. The bathroom is actually down the hall and to your left. You may use it whenever you wish too, the same goes for the shower," Severus informed him.

"Thanks I will remember that. Are we finished now?" Harry couldn't help but ask.

Severus he could hear the tiredness in the boy's voice but this needed to be done. Not to mention people, children in particular tended to share more when they were tired.

"Almost, just a few more things and then we'll be done. Why you didn't tell anyone about your home life?" Severus murmured out.

Harry sighed before answering but he had known this one was coming. "What good would it have done? I hinted to the Headmaster every year and all he replied was '_it's for your own good' _before he sent me back. I didn't want to have to bare my soul just to have it shoved back into my face. People only see what they want to see, you know that better then anyone. If you go back and look at your memories, and actually take a good look at me. you'll see the signs are there. I was just ignored because I'm the boy-who-lived. And besides whom would I have told anyway?" Harry said giving the man a pointed look. He couldn't have gone to Snape for obvious reasons.

"You're Head of House of course," Severus said his tone carrying the sarcastic one that he used when someone asked a stupid question.

"Right my head of house. I learned first year that McGonagall didn't care about me unless it had to do with Quidditch," Harry scoffed.

"That's not true Harry she cares about your, more then you will ever know," Severus told him sincerely.

"Oh isn't it? 1st year the night Quirrel tried to steal the Stone, we told her first but she refused to listen to us just because we were children. Hence why we had to go down there ourselves. I was nearly killed," Harry muttered out bitterness, layering his tone.

"Minerva made a mistake Harry, She's only human. Plus I'm sure she regrets it," the dark haired man replied honestly. He knew from experience that Minerva had regretted not listening but you couldn't go back, you could only move forward and learn from it.

"Really? What about Umbridge's Detentions? She told me to just keep my head down when I tried to tell her what the toad was making me do. That showed me that she didn't give a damn about me. So I'm done with her, Head of House or not," Harry said crossing his arms on one another as he unconsciously hid his hand.

"What happened in the toad's detention?" Severus asked calmly, he didn't like the way that Harry seemed to shrink into himself and he got a bad feeling about this.

"Why do you want to know?" Harry huffed out.

"Because you're my student and I need to know if she hurt you in any way," he replied truthfully.

"Why do you care now? When you never did before?" Harry sighed heavily.

Severus ceased all movement while he contemplated Harry's words. He had thought that Harry and him had passed this stage and had come to a mutual understanding of one another, apparently not just yet.

"I've always cared for you, I've kept you alive since you were 11. I was just blinded by my hatred for your father that I never saw just you. You will never know how much I regret treating you like I did, and I have no excuses Harry; I am so sorry," he said quietly.

It had taken Severus a while to shove his pride under the table and apologize to the boy. He knew that he didn't deserve to be forgiven but he hoped Harry would anyways.

"Why are you doing this sir? Is it because you hope I can bare my soul to you and you can laugh about it later?" Harry asked, ever the skeptic.

"What? Harry no, I would never do that to you," Severus promised him seriously.

"So you say; how can I know that? You're probably just saying that and then you're going to hurt me with it when the time is right. You and your buddies all having a laugh at my expense," Harry said darkly.

"Harry, remember I took an oath that I would never do anything like that. I even swore on my magic," Severus reminded him.

"So? There are always loopholes in oaths," the young Gryffindor pointed out.

"Then you're just going to have to trust me Harry," Severus said quietly.

"Trust you? The man who loathed me at no fault of my own mind you. Who berated me every day of the school year because of what I represented. Who made me feel like I was lower than dirt, and not even worth it. That man?" Harry asked out harshly.

Every word that Harry spoke Severus's heart dropped lower and lower in his stomach. This was a bad idea, too farfetched to believe that Harry could ever forgive him after all that he had wronged him. He wanted to defend his actions but he said nothing. He didn't tune the child out, knowing this was his punishment, and he needed to hear it.

"Who risked his own life to save mine every year when he didn't have too. And the man who finally saw me when no one else did and saved me even when I didn't want to be saved?" Harry finished out strongly, his eyes never leaving the older man's face.

"But how can I trust you sir?" Harry whispered out.

"You just have to Harry," Severus replied thickly. He felt his heart swell at that, maybe there was hope for them after all.

"No, I mean; how do you trust someone?" Harry clarified.

Severus's heart plummeted then, the Durselys had a lot to answer for maybe Minerva would come with him to Surrey for a visit. What kind of monsters were they anyway? How did a child not know how to trust?

"You just have to believe that they won't hurt you intentionally. And I know that's hard considering how you grew up but it is possible; you just have to try," was the man's answer.

"Okay, I'll try sir," Harry murmured.

"Now can you tell me what happened in Umbridge's detention?" Severus repeated.

"She had this quill, which made lines in my hand. It hurt and it made my hand bleed, it left a scar," Harry said his voice quiet. Everyone was always leaving scars on him, at least he knew he was alive and could survive.

"Can I see it?" Severus asked curiously.

"Why do you want to see it Professor? It's just a scar," Harry said unable to help the flush of shame at showing the man just what he had been made to right.

"Because I need to know if that toad used a blood quill on you. I'm not sure if you know but it's a dark artifact. And if so she deserves to be punished," he told him matter-factually.

"Whatever, hopefully I'll be long gone by the time that trial takes place, but here it is," Harry said with a shrug when he realized that Snape wasn't about to be swayed. He held out his left hand carelessly.

Severus didn't register what Harry said because he was so disgusted at the barely faded scar on Harry's left hand it read 'I must not tell lies'.

"She used a blood quill, in Albus Dumbledore's school?! How many others were there Potter?" Severus hissed out, his dark eyes flashing dangerously.

"Um most of Gryffindor, a few Ravenclaws, a lot of Hufflepuffs, and according to Draco a handful of Slytherins as well." Harry didn't notice his slip of the tongue and neither did Snape for that matter. He was focused on the fact that Snape seemed to be angry on his behalf, whoa right?

"And no one told their Head of House?" Severus asked in disbelief.

"Well they heard about me trying to tell McGonagall and they figured the teachers agreed with her, after all she's the Deputy Headmistress. We figured she knew and allowed it," Harry replied honestly.

"That's preposterous, go down the hall and turn left, go into the kitchen and call a house elf to bring lunch. I'll join you in a minute; I'm going to go talk with the Headmaster." Severus told him, barely able to rein in his temper as stomped out of the room.

Harry watched Snape leave with an awed expression on is face before he obediently walked to the kitchen and called for Dobby. Who he saw was excited as usual to serve his Harry Potter sir. Harry laughed at his excitement; it felt good to laugh again. He ordered lunch and waited at the table for Snape. The food appeared but Harry still waited; he wasn't allowed to eat before anyone and he wouldn't forget his place.

When Severus landed in the Headmaster's office, he was a little surprised to see Minerva there as well. But seeing as she was a part of this discussion he didn't care that she was here. He accioed the Headmaster's pensive and put the memory of his and Harry conversation and floated it towards them.

"Really Severus, no greetings or anything," Minerva said dryly.

But Severus wasn't in the mood for her, to disregard that child below, blew his mind away. He didn't even try to defend his own actions, but she was the boy's head of House! That's what they were there for. He ignored her in favor of answering Albus's question.

"What is this Severus? What did you find out?" Albus asked quietly, knowing whatever this was it had to do with Harry.

"Take a look first Albus, then we'll talk. You too Minerva this concerns you, and what vile woman did to Harry," He told her, granting her a stern look in her direction. Never mind that he was years younger then her, she had taught him for Merlin's sake.

That got their attention and they dove into the sphere; and as Severus waited for them patiently. As his brain went over the previous conversation he had just had with Harry and the things he missed.

'_There isn't a day that goes by that I wish I hadn't chosen Gryffindor' what did that mean? Did the boy wish even now that he could be resorted into the snake pit? Would the Headmaster even allow that? What was he saying since when did he want a Potter in his house? Since realizing he was nothing like his father, that's when._

'_Whatever, hopefully I'll be long gone by the time the trial takes place.' What was that about surely the boy wasn't suicidal; he was young and so full of again He didnt even know the real Harry as that was has pointed out to him. Severus only saw what he wanted to see. He pondered on that one for a while, and vowed to pay close attention just in case. He actually wanted to be there for Harry if he needed him in the future._

'_According to Draco a handful of Slytherins as well' since when did Harry refer to the Slytherin by his first name, they were rivals weren't they? Severus contemplated that one the most. If they had a friendship and that was a BIG if, then this could be a great advantage to the light side. He resolved to watch Harry closely to see how he interacted with Draco and the rest of his Slytherins. He hoped with all his might that his snakes were tolerant of Potter in secret and what the rest of the school saw was an act. Severus scoffed at that unbelievable thought, unaware how right he actually was_

They reappeared 15 minutes later both looking grave and angered. Albus couldn't believe that Umbridge had the audacity to use a blood quill in his school. He was going to show her that he wasn't Chief of Wizard Court and defeater of Grindewald for nothing. Albus Dumbledore was mad.

"I need to see Harry, where is he Severus? Minerva demanded to the younger man.

"I'm sorry Minerva but he doesn't want to see you, let alone speak to you right now," Severus told her honestly, not to hurt her but it was what it was.

"Who cares about what he wants he's just a child, I'm his Head of House and he...," but she never got to finish that sentence.

"Then where were you when he was on the brink of death and begging me not to save him?" Severus replied out harshly, she wanted to go there, he could as well.

"That's not fair Severus; I didn't know…he hid it so well, that I never suspected a thing." Minerva replied out sadly,

"I know but as of right now, he loathes you. You saw his expression in the memory, his anger towards you," he pointed out.

"Do you think he'll forgive me Severus?" She whispered out quietly.

"If that child can forgive me after all I've done to him, he can forgive you Minerva; just give him time." Was the man's answer and he knew it to be true. Harry Potter had a good heart, and at the moment it was slightly broken. He would do whatever he could to make it whole again, and give the child the will to live. He was worth it, Lily's child deserved the world, and Severus would make sure he got it.


	5. Chapter 5: Can you Keep a Secret?

**A/N- You get frequent updates for this story because it's already written and I'm just correcting mistakes and rewriting slightly. Bascially I'm procrastinating from my other stories. But starting next week, I'm taking an hour(at least) a day to write on any given story so I can finish these puppies..and start my new projects! Anyway, here it is and enjoy, I live for the reviews you like you wouldnt believe.**

**Chapter 5: Can you Keep a Secret?  
**

When Severus finally left Albus's office it was about 1 hour later and he knew he was late for lunch. He hoped Harry hadn't waited for him, but when he flooed into his quarters he knew that wasn't to be so. He was horrified to find Harry sitting at the table, staring unseeingly at the wall. The boy's hands were clasped together in his lap and the food on the plate in front of him; untouched. What in the world had happened to the child? The man cautiously went over to him, making sure not to touch him. Harry didn't seem to be all that at the moment and he didn't want to startle him.

"Harry can you hear me? It's Professor Snape and we are at Hogwarts. You're safe child I promise you that. Harry can you answer me?" He asked in a patient tone that were usually only reserved for his abused Slytherins. He pondered silently to himself that he was starting to group Harry in with them.

"Yes sir," Harry replied carefully blinking slowly and starting to come back to himself. He looked at the food on the table and even though his stomach clenched painfully he didn't touch it. Oh he had wanted too, but he hadn't, no matter what Snape had said he knew it would not have been okay.

"Why didn't you eat?" Severus questioned quietly.

Harry's brow furrowed as tried to figure out if this was a trick or not. He was tensed in his chair, he didn't like the way the man was looking at him. Not to mention he was in his personal bubble of space and he felt crowded. He was doubting himself, and he started to fall back on what he knew usually appeased his uncle. Hopefully it would work on Snape.

"I'm sorry sir," Harry replied respectfully, his eyes low. He didn't want to look into those dark expressionless eyes.

"What are you sorry for Harry?" He asked gently. "You didn't do anything,"

Harry's stared in confusion as he tried to understand the question. Snape needed a reason to say sorry? Uncle Vernon never did.

"I don't understand sir," was his honest answer.

"Why are you apologizing Harry when you didn't do anything wrong. When one apologizes that usually means they have done something to warrant one," Severus explained.

"I didn't?" Harry asked clearly puzzled over that answer. "Well at the Durselys it was always the right thing to say so I wouldn't get into trouble," he admitted

"Not here Harry; Why didn't you eat?" Severus asked getting back to the root of the problem.

"I was waiting for you to come back so we could eat together," Harry replied cautiously. He couldn't tell Snape that he was forbidden to eat before anyone else, he didn't want to feel that shame coursing through his body.

"It would have been fine if you had eaten, I did not mean for you to wait for me. For dinner time that's normal enough, but in the future if I'm not at the table in 5 minutes I want you to start without," he said seriously.

"I understand, but that doesn't seem proper," Harry said getting annoyed with the fact that Snape was trying to break him away from everything he had ever known.

"Once again your relatives were wrong and I will repeat that for as often as you need me too. While it is polite to wait until everyone is seated to eat, it is unorthodox for you to think you can't eat until everyone else has had their share. You are not below anyone Harry Potter, and seeing that I had taken too long you should have eaten. And you will the next time this happens, won't you?" Severus said firmly, he had heard exactly what Harry hadn't wanted to say.

Harry only stared at the man, he didn't want to answer that. How had Snape known? How he had always known? Once it became apparent that the man was expecting an answer he reluctantly nodded as he tucked in his food.

Severus knew that they needed to discuss his flashbacks but at the moment Harry had already revealed a lot of things today. And he didn't want to push the child to talk about something he clearly wasn't ready to talk about. They sat down and enjoyed their fish and chips. Severus knew that Harry needed to get some fresh air or he could become depressed if he was left to his thoughts.

The other day was proof of that and he sighed as he pulled out the child's wand. He had confiscated it when Albus had said that Harry might be suicidal in a sense and he didn't want to take the risk of the child harming himself with his own wand. As it was, he wanted the child to go outside and he knew that he needed to protect himself.

"After lunch Harry I want you to take your broom and go for a fly around the pitch. I will be giving you your wand for the duration of that time period. If you don't want to do that, that's fine I just ask that you take a walk around the lake. Either way you have to go outside for 2 hours," he told him as he handed over the wand.

"You're kicking me out? Harry said in a neutral voice as he pocketed his wand. He relaxed slightly at the warm feeling tingling throughout his body as his magic reconnected with the wood. He stared at the man in front of his, his face a carefully put together mask. As although he had prevented the hurt from his tone when he had voiced the question, he couldn't prevent it from shining through his eyes.

Severus could only shook his head, had the child always been this sensitive? Or was it the fact that only a week ago, had it really been that long? But Harry had been on the brink of death and everything he had ever known had come crashing down in an instant? That could be it, and he knew he could not fault the child.

"Of course not, Madame Pompfrey told me that you have to get at least 2 hours of fresh air every day. And you know how she can be if her orders are ignored," he replied smoothly and it was the truth.

"Yeah, I know," Harry muttered before smiling at the dour man of all people listening to the medic-witch's order. It was laughable at best, but he knew what a tyrant she could turn into it if someone knowingly disobeyed her orders.

"And tonight, if you feel well enough you can eat in the great hall with your friends. And you can show them that the Greasy Bat of the dungeons hasn't killed you," Severus told him causally.

"Professor, how can you call yourself that? Harry asked with such an innocent expression he could see it throw his teacher off a bit.

"Children don't whisper properly when they're angry, I hear and see nearly everything, Snape replied quietly. He had long ago gotten over the hurt of their words, it didn't mean anything to him anymore.

Harry's face burned as that as he didn't know that Snape could hear them taunt him. He felt so low, maybe Snape was right to call him a bully. He was no worse then his father had done.

Severus took in the expression on the child's face, for a second his face was an open book but then he closed it off, but Severus had already seen the hurt.

"Honestly Harry it's not only you; even Granger has called me that at least once. And I don't take offense, children behave in my classroom do they not?" The Potion Master said easily.

"Yeah, but still it's not a nice thought. But…thanks Professor," Harry said with a soft smile as he finished up his lunch.

Harry then went to his room and laid on his bed and grinned. He had never had a room of his own unless you counted his cupboard; he didn't. He grabbed his Firebolt and instantly thought of Sirius and he prepared himself for the onslaught of grief. Surprisingly he didn't feel like he usually felt when he thought of his Godfather, he actually felt a little bit lighter. It was an odd feeling which he then shook off before walking out his room and wishing goodbye to his Professor as he headed to pitch. Taking the secret passages he didn't bump into anyone as he honestly didn't want to talk. When he arrived at the pitch he saw the Slytherin team was practicing, this was perfect. Without thinking to check to see if anyone was around he took off on his broom towards Draco. He saw the boy deep in thought, as he seemed to be studying the chasers. He flew past the boy at racing speed, nearly scaring the blonde off his broom.

"Damn it Harry, I could have died!" Draco yelled out angrily, his gloved hand over his rapidly beating hear.

"Nope you were fine Dray," Harry replied offhandedly; not the least bit worried about possibly scaring his friend to death.

"Where have you been Harry? School has been in session for almost a week and I'm only just seeing you. I was really worried about you. This bloody pendant you gave me has taken 10 years off my life this summer. Not to mention being back here. What the hell happened to you? And don't you dare say nothing," Draco ranted at him. "These Pendants that are connected to our magic wouldn't have heated up if it was just nothing,"

"Sorry Dray I didn't mean to scare you, but can I tell you about that later. Now isn't really the best time for that," Harry said as he turned to look back at the castle. He had the strangest feeling that he was being watched.

"Alright, well I'm holding that to you Potter," Draco playfully sneered.

"Draco where's Daphne, why isn't she practicing?" Harry asked frowning as he realized that the Slytherin girl was nowhere to be found.

"She's a bit behind on homework so she skipped practice to finish in the common room. Did you want to see her?" Draco asked with a sly grin.

"Yes and No, I have to get my 2 hours of fresh air before I'm allowed back in the castle," Harry explained.

"Oh, that's...different," Draco said a little confused by Harry's statement, but trusting him enough to tell him when he was ready.

Harry played a mini Quidditch game with the Slytherins of course with him and Draco as seekers for the opposite teams. Harry had really missed flying up here; he always felt right in the air, like he belonged here. He just wished he could stay up here forever. The game lasted for 3 hours before Draco barely caught the snitch before Harry did. It was all in good fun. He put his arm around Draco's shoulders and he and the team walked to the locker room unaware that someone had been watching them. That feeling that he had felt earlier had meant something even though he had brushed it off.

Back in the Headmaster's office, Albus was looking out the window and to the Quidditch pitch, delighted at what he had seen.

"Perhaps there is still is hope alive in Harry Potter. You are stronger then you know child. To be able to befriend the house of the misunderstood when so many of their parents wishes you dead; astounds me." The Headmaster smiled to himself before popping a lemon drop into his mouth.

Harry walked with the snakes to the last hallway before they entered the Great Hall where they went in before him. He took a deep breath and waited 5 minutes before coming in after them. Just as he thought all conversation at every single table ceased, as the students all turned around to stare at him. He wasn't all that interesting and he could never understand the hype around him. So he missed a week of school, no big deal, it could happen to anyone. He looked up at the staff table and avoiding the eyes of his Head of House he looked at Snape, who nodded his head at him to sit down.

Harry looked over at Draco and wished with all his might that he could sit with him. He caught Remus's eyes then made a gesture that looked suspiciously like 'we need to talk'. He nodded in agreement although he didn't really want to talk to Moony; he knew it had to be done. This was all surprising to him as he didn't know that Remus would be back teaching this year.

He wasn't sure actually if that was good or bad. Harry was in a good mood and didn't want to sit with the Gryffindors who would only talk bad about the man who had saved his life. Sure Snape could be cruel but so could each and everyone one of them. He chose to sit by Luna and Neville at the Ravenclaw table.

"Hey Harry," Neville said as Luna echoed him as Harry took a seat.

"Hey guys," Harry replied dejectedly, picking up a random food item to put on his plate. He couldn't really eat with everyone looking at him like this.

"Don't worry about them Harry, the nargles will take care of everything I promise. Are you feeling better? Luna dreamily asked.

"I'm getting there," Harry said not the least surprised at how she seemed to know things she shouldn't. Maybe her invisible animals weren't so invisible, after all if you've seen death you can see the Thestrals just fine. Maybe it was something like that, he wouldn't doubt it.

"Is he the cause of that? I know how overprotected he is of his snakes. And your an honorary one so it has to be him right?" She asked dreamily.

"Yes, he's helping me," Harry admitted, he couldn't really lie to Luna, plus why would he want too?

"You have to open up and let him in Harry, even if this wasn't what you wanted. He gave you another chance at life so don't you dare waste it Harry Potter," Luna replied her voice taking on a hard tone for once. She wanted him to understand that this was very serious.

Harry had to fight the urge to gape at her and he wondered what else was going on in tat head of hers. How did she know? He found that he couldn't say anything in reply to that. She would see right through any old excuse he had.

"Good I'm glad," Neville piped in easing the boy's thoughts at once.

They started eating then, with Harry eating as much as he could with the way everyone was turning around so often to look at him. It was silence in between his friends but it was companionable silence. Harry was glad that he had these two as his friends. He finished moving his food around his plate; he couldn't eat here if they were all going to treat him like this. He was hoping to sneak out without bumping into anyone but it was not to be.

Remus apparently had his eye on him because before Harry could take a step out of the Great Hall Remus had his hand on his shoulder, restraining him from going anywhere. Harry couldn't help it he flinched and cringed away from the sudden contact. Remus's eyes narrowed and his eyes changed to amber as his expression turned feral. Harry never noticed how animalistic it made him look and he couldn't help the uncomfortable feeling that was starting to form in his stomach.

"Harry cub, I would never hurt you, you know that don't you?" Remus asked frowning at the implications of what that flinch meant.

"Yes Remus I know that, you just startled me is all," he replied honestly.

Remus didn't look as if he believed the child but he decided to let it go for now. "Come let's go to my office."

Harry reluctantly went, although he didn't want to have this talk with Remus. He had already spoken with Snape about most things already. So why did he have to tell it over again. If Remus truly wanted to know, the man should just ask Snape. He straightened his shoulders like he was preparing for a battle and walked into Remus's office and closed the door. He decided then to tell Remus the basics of most stuff and leave it at that.

He sighed quietly as he efficiently gave the man a rundown of what went on at the Durselys that led them being here. When Harry got through telling Remus about this previous summer and how Snape had saved him so close to death, he was reminded how over protected Moony could get. Because Remus had enveloped him in his arms and hugged him quitely tightly that his ribs started to hurt. But he just kept quiet, enjoying the feeling of someone who cared for him holding him close If he was being honest with himself he did feel quite better now that Remus knew. As much as Harry was enjoying his time with Remus he knew he was cutting it too close; he had to meet Daphne and Draco at 7:30pm and it was already 7:20pm.

"Moony, I'm supposed to meet my friends at 7:30pm so I can't stay for much longer. Was that all you wanted to talk to me about?" Harry asked softly.

"Yes that's all Harry cub, but I have missed you. Maybe once in a week we can meet and talk together, maybe have tea? Would you like that?" Remus offered the slight teen.

That did sound alright to Harry, he liked talking to Remus. They were each others link to their lost loved ones; Harry wouldn't deny the man that, especially since he took Sirius away from him.

"Bye Harry," Remus called out as the boy exited his office.

Harry took off running for the Slytherin Common Room paying close attention that no one was watching or following him. He was in front of the portrait and whispered basilisk, the portrait opening a moment later. Harry loved how warm the dungeons felt despite the chill, he felt accepted here. Everyone in the common room turned to see who had come in before there were greetings to him before they turned back to whatever they had been doing.

The Slytherins were used to Harry coming into their common room. They got over their shock back in his second year; when it was revealed he could speak with snakes. That was a Slytherin ability and they knew that he was a snake on the inside that's all that mattered. Harry went up to the 6th year boy's dorm where Draco, Theo, and Daphne were waiting for him.

"Where's Blaise? Harry asked as he looked around the dorm and didn't see the dark skinned boy anywere.

"Got detention with Filch, Theo replied ruefully.

"What did he do?" Harry asked curiously.

"Got caught in the Restricted Section," Daphne murmured in amusement.

"I don't know what the hell he was looking for though," Draco piped in, wanting to be part of the conversation.

"Um a book?" Harry said with a smirk.

"Smart ass, you know what I mean," Draco said sticking his tongue out at the boy.

"Enough of that; where have you been for the past week? We didn't see you on the train and you haven't been to any of your classes. I only knew you were in the castle because I overheard Madame Pompfrey talking to the Headmaster about you," Daphne said, bringing the conversation to where she wanted it to be.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened now?" Draco asked quietly, the humor from earlier gone.

Harry didn't want to go here, but he knew they deserved to know. He would never hide something this big from them, not when he knew they might be able to help. "Well...Snape said I almost died," Harry started out slowly.

"You almost died? How?" The girl asked out fearfully, as he reached her hand out to touch the boy. Clearly he was fine now, but not before that. What had happened?

"Well, I died for a second but he brought me back," Harry answer truthfully.

"What actually happened Harry?" Theo broke in, tired of him beating round the bush.

"It's sort of a long story," Harry said trying to stall. Even though he knew they needed to know, he didn't want to tell it all over again.

"We've got time," Draco said, his voice even and his face a careful calm mask. Harry was not going to get out of this.

Having just told Remus what happened not 30 minutes ago Harry didn't want to tell it again. He still had to sleep tonight and bringing it up again, would most certainly lead to nightmares. He didn't like that look that Draco was giving to him either a mixture of betrayal and hurt.

But he rationalized if he couldn't tell the snakes who could he tell, surely not Hermione or Ron. Ron would make Harry feel guilty about not telling anyone and Hermione would try to talk about his feelings. The Slytherins would only listen. Nodding his head Harry decided to tell them but he was interrupted by a 2nd year bursting through the door.

"Professor Snape is in the Common Room and he said he'll be doing dorm checks in a minute. Choosing randomly the 6th year boys are first," he blurted out breathlessly before he left to warn some more students.

"Damn it, what the hell is Uncle Severus doing?" Draco rushed out as he quickly got up and off the bed. Their dorm was spotless mostly, and this was unsurprisingly to say the least, but it was just bad timing on his godfather's part.

"I don't know but Harry has to hide," Daphne said as if that wasn't obvious.

"You don't love me anymore Daph? You're so ashamed of me that you want me to hide?" Harry teased playfully. He turned his head so she wouldn't see the grin on his face as she tried to right her supposed wrong.

"That's not what I meant Harry, I only said it because...are you laughing at me?" She asked as she saw his shoulder's shaking and she knew he wasn't crying.

"I'm just kidding Daph I promise, where am I going to hide though?" Harry chuckled as he stood up and looked around the dorm.

"Theo go check and see what Snape is doing, Harry will hide in the toilet," Daphne replied.

"He's going to see his feet if he walks in there, " Draco drawled out slowly.

"Not if he's standing on the actual toilet," Daphne smugly answered.

"He doesn't check the bathroom does he Dray?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Not usually," Draco answered truthfully.

At that moment Theodore burst back into the room hurrying to straighten up his stuff. "He's coming up the stairs now, Harry hide!" He hissed out.

Daphne grabbed Harry's hand and led him bathrooms and into a stall. Harry not wanting to stay in there by his self, held onto her hand when she tried to leave. She rolled her eyes but stayed there with him. They could hear Snape in the dorm room and hoped he wouldn't come in to the toilets. After 10 minutes had passed Snape was finally done and left so Harry and Daphne came out to a much cleaner dorm room.

"I hate that we can't tell Uncle Severus, I feel so guilty. Why can't we tell him again?" Draco whined out.

The others sighed having heard this question numerous times. Theo decided to answer it this time.

"Because you know what he is, and who he's friends with. Would you rather feel guilty about not telling him or scared and betrayed that he told your father? Not to mention hurt when he finds out that you befriended the golden boy; and then finally used as bait so they can catch Harry?" Theo calmly but bluntly asked. He himself knew the price and the risk of Harry friendship. And after 6 years he wasn't going to lose him to a stupid mistake.

Harry wanted to tell them that Snape was a spy for the light side who would never betray their secrets, but what if they accidentally told someone? Snape would be killed so he kept that information to himself.

"Yeah I forgot about that," Draco replied sheepishly. "Sorry Harry."

"Malfoys don't apologize, remember Draco?" Harry smirked remembering their 1st year.

"Prat," Draco muttered back before rolling his eyes.

"Harry where are you staying? I went up to the infirmary but you weren't there and Pompfrey wouldn't tell me," Daphne said frowning.

"You should've had Draco go, you know he's her favorite Slytherin," Harry grinned at her, because they all knew it was true. The Matron had a soft spot for the blonde boy, for a reason that Draco was tight-lipped about.

Draco put his nose up in the air and attempted to reply in a pompous tone but busted out laughing halfway through it.

"Seriously where are you staying Harry?" Theo repeated, not wanting this conversation to get side tracked.

"With Snape in his quarters," was his quick answer before held held his breath waiting for their reactions.

"Did you not just hear our previous discussion on him? Are you crazy? Is the Headmaster insane? Don't answer the last one, of course he is. Why are you staying with Uncle Severus?" Draco rushed out worriedly.

"Weren't you the one who just wanted to tell him about Harry being our honorary snake? Do you have a personality disorder? What the hell changed Draco?" Theo asked grumbled out.

"Well for starters, he can do what he wants to Harry and no one would know. You know how Harry is, he wouldn't tell anyone if Snape did something to him," Draco replied quietly, well aware of how he was talking about his godfather. But he knew the man could be ruthless, especially when it came to the name Potter.

"I'm fine Draco. Poppy and the Headmaster both know where I am and they come and visit every day. Relax; I still have this bloody pendant you gave me back in 1st year. You'll know if something happens, which I doubt will," Harry sighed out.

"Yeah Draco, he did save Harry. Why would he do that if he wanted him dead? It doesn't make any sense," Daphne sensibly answered as she thought that over.

"I don't know but until we find out why, we're going to have to keep a close eye on our Head of House and see okay?" Draco said slowly.

"Alright," Harry muttered out finally. He would have to tell Snape to be on his guard; but was unsure on how to do that without alerting the man that he was on friendly terms with the snakes. Harry's ribs were starting to hurt from when Remus had hugged him, and he needed a pain potion.

"It's getting late guys, I'd better head back," Harry said as he stood up, unable to suppress the small wince that graced his face at the movement.

"You okay Harry?" For Daphne had noticed the change in his expression.

"Just peachy," he grinned out at her when he saw her worried look.

"Do you guys want to have dinner together tomorrow?" Theo asked, but he was mostly just asking Harry to join them as he always ate with his fellow Slytherins.

"Yeah, don't forget to tell Blaize though," Harry replied he wanted his other friend to be in the loop. "See you guys later."

"Night Harry," they all chorused.

Harry walked over to the fire place and hissed to the snake on the on the wall, the remaining students in the common room didn't pay him any mind. After his 2nd year when he was ousted as a parsel-tongue they had finally accepted him as one of them. And in return he showed them the secret passages in their common room that can only be opened by parselmouths. Harry stepped through the passage and walked down the tunnel, it led him directly to Snape's quarters. As he came out of the tunnel, the portrait of Salazar who was guarding the quarters smirked at him.

"Young speaker that is a passage from inside the Slytherin common room and you are a lion are you not?" Salazar said curiously, he didn't have many portraits around the castle. And unfortunately of the few he had none of them were in the Slytherin common room.

"Only on the outside," Harry answered breathlessly, it hurt so much to breathe at this point. He had become very equipped at hiding his pain that his friends hadn't even noticed anything was off with him.

"Lily Flower, " Harry said quickly not feeling well enough to converse.

When Harry walked in he saw Snape sitting in front of the fireplace. He wasn't sure how to ask for the potion so he schooled his expression and tried to hide the pain. Apparently he didn't do such a good job as the man suddenly stood up and narrowed his eyes at him.

"If you are in pain, tell me so that I can give you a potion," Severus said in an attempt to get Harry to share about his injuries. But his efforts were in vain as the boy said nothing. He was fairly certain that the child was hurting but the quarters were silent.

Harry wanted to tell him that he was hurting but his stupid pride wouldn't let him. Not to mention the insecurity he was feeling. What if Snape told him no after he had asked? He didn't know what to do if he was being honest. "I'm fine sir," he said I as the man was looking at him so he figured he'd better say something. He did however instantly regret doing so as he was far from fine.

"Of course you are Mr. Potter, never the less the potions you were supposed to take with dinner are on your dresser with a sandwich. Please eat the sandwich first, you barely had anything at dinner and you can't take those potions on an empty stomach," he said as if the child hadn't blatantly lied in his face.

Severus looked at the child in front of him, who was struggling with himself on whether or not to say anything but finally nodded and left the room. This boy kept surprising him each day. The Headmaster had told Severus about Harry flying with his snakes with no hostility from either of them and that had him intrigued. He wanted to know how that came to pass but was reluctant to ask; knowing if he went about it wrong then tempers would flare.

He shook his head, that child was so full of secrets. Severus had a feeling that the boys ribs were bothering him when he walked in but he wouldn't admit it. He wasn't really surprised at that seeing how long it took the child to admit his abuse and Severus was sure that Harry hadn't told him everything. Nonetheless, no child under his care was going to be in pain; not his snakes and certainly not Harry. So Severus had added a pain reliever on the boy's desk for him to take.

Harry sat down on the bed with a hiss of pain, man he really wished he had said yes to the pain potion. The pain was so intense it was bringing tears to his yes. Trying not to breathe deeply, he ate his sandwich as quick as he could, and took the potions. Noticing an extra potion on the desk he looked at his curious before deciding that Snape probably wanted him to take another nutritive potion. He took it without thought and was shocked when his ribs stopped hurting. How did he know? That simple act of kindness was Harry's undoing that night. He cast silencing charm around his bed and got under the covers and finally cried to his heart's content.

He had known for years that he didn't deserve kindness but Snape was proving him wrong at every turn. Maybe his life was worth living, despite all the hurt. The pain of losing Sirius didn't make him feel like he was suffocating anymore, he almost felt that Sirius would want him to be happy, and Snape gave him that.

As long as Snape wanted him around Harry felt he could take on the world, to have an adult on your side that will fight for you and only you and not what you stand for, made Harry feel good. He wanted to tell Snape everything but he couldn't just yet, there was a part of him that remembered just how mean Snape could be and didn't know if he would go back to treating Harry like that.

He had forgiven Snape he just wished that Snape would forgive him when he apologized for looking into his pensive. He dried the last of his tears on his pillow as he blew out a quiet breath of relief. He hoped that the man would accept his apology because he didn't know what he would do if he didn't.


	6. Chapter 6: But I'm not SuicidalAm I?

**A/N- The angst is back, and oh yeah in case you werent aware this story has triggers as it deals with self harm, sucide and of course some profanity is in here. If that's not your cup of tea, turn back now.**

**Chapter 6: But I'm not Suicidal...Am I?**

Early the next morning after Madame Pompfrey had given Harry his medicine he laid back down and pretended to be sleep. He could hear Snape moving around the flat as he was getting ready to leave for his classes. As he wasn't opening his eyes, he tensed ever so slightly when he heard the man come into his room to check on him. Peeking through an eyelid he saw that the man was in the process of setting a tray of breakfast on the desk. He was conflicted at the moment, he didn't understand any of this. He had never been so happy when Snape had left.

Harry carefully stood up, and made his way over to his desk to eat his breakfast. He couldn't shake the feeling away, but Snape had looked like he cared for him The man was genuinely concerned about him it seemed, and it even scared him to a degree. He just could not understand why, it didn't make any sense. Eating his breakfast slowly Harry had a sudden thought as he realized that he was completely alone. Today would actually be a good day to finish what his Uncle had started if only his ribs weren't so sore.

Because of the beating his ribs had taken, he wouldn't be able to walk that far. Which would result in someone finding him before he would even have a chance to do it. He didn't let that thought get him down, he had the whole week to himself, he could find some time. With that plan in motion he finished his food and tiredly made his way back to bed. He had the plan of reading a book but he soon found himself drifting off to sleep before he had finished the first chapter.

He awoke when he heard Snape come through the bedroom door with his lunch. Had he really slept that long? As he watched the man set down his lunch tray he could swear he saw a trace of approval at the empty breakfast tray. Was Snape actually happy that he had managed to eat? He shook his head at that thought, blinking up in surprise when he saw Snape sit down with a lunch tray of his own. He had been expecting the man to leave just like this morning.

Truth was Harry wasn't very hungry at the moment, he was still a bit full from breakfast. His stomach still wasn't up to copious amounts of food yet. Not to mention he had a less then pleasant dream and had woken up with some unease to say it lightly. He wondered what were his chances of forgoing this lunch, one look at the dark calculating gaze on him had him inwardly groaning.

"Grab your tray and eat your lunch," Severus told him a casual but firm tone.

He was eating the same food as the boy was as the child's stomach couldn't yet eat the rich food of Hogwarts. So soup and sandwich was what they had. Not to mention he had put a stomach soother in the boy's pumpkin juice just so he could be able to keep it down. Kind of like this morning actually.

Harry nodded sighing softly as he realized he had no choice in this particular matter. He grabbed a sandwich off the tray and under Snape's watchful eye he was able to finish half of it, where he then moved on to his soup. But he was only able to eat 4 spoonfuls of it before his stomach felt like it was about to burst. He caught Snape's disapproving gaze at how little he ate before he turned his gaze to his hands.

Sighing softly once before he was picking up the sandwich again. If he ate anymore it was going to come back up, but he couldn't stand that expression on Snape's face. He took a deep breath preparing to eat more when the sandwich disappeared from his hand, along with his entire lunch. The only thing that remained was his cup of juice and his potions to take. He looked at Snape confusion covering his face for a second before he frowned.

"Where did you do with my lunch?" Harry asked warily, unsure of what this all meant. Was Snape playing some kind of joke? Because he didn't eat a lot, did that mean he couldn't eat anymore ever? Thankfully the man answered his question before he worked himself into a state.

"I banished it, as you were finished. I saw your face, and I have no idea why you were trying to eat yourself sick," Severus told him as he continued to eat his lunch.

"Because you were frowning, when I put my spoon down," Harry mumbled out honestly as he took his potions. He washed them down with the juice and smiled slightly, his stomach felt a lot better now. Maybe Snape did know what he was doing.

"Nothing you had done, I assure you," Severus said in a clipped tone. Truthfully he was angry at the child's relations as the boy couldn't even stomach a sandwich and some soup. He could kill them for what they had done. He shook the thoughts away before he finished his lunch and flicked it away before he stood up and gestured for the boy to sit back up.

"Why?" Harry asked quietly as he slowly sat back up..

"I need to check your ribs, and see how they're healing," he answered.

Harry sighed and allowed the man to do his check over. If he was being truthful with himself, he preferred Snape to Pompfrey as she seemed to give him a sad look every time she came to see him. He knew it wasn't pity she was giving him, but he still couldn't stand it as a wave of shame tended to hit him when she did. He laid back on his pillows as his teacher finished up.

"I have to get back to class, you may get up if you'd like. But please don't leave the quarters, your ribs aren't ready for that," Severus replied as he headed out the room. Yesterday had been a bit too much for the child, to soon but the boy had come back with a light in his eyes so he didn't regret it.

"Alright," Harry murmured as he settled back in the bed.

He noticed the minute the man had left, the distinct feeling that he was completely alone. It was a disconcerting feeling, and his state it wasn't very welcoming at the moment. He'd never realized how much Snape's presence filled a room. He looked around the room, absently shutting his eyes tight as his thoughts started to run wild. Here in the absence of other people he could feel and it hurt. His grief was on the surface and all positive thoughts got pushed in the back of mind.

What the fuck? He had been almost normal for a moment, why now? He found himself getting bombarded with his negative thoughts. In just that instant he couldn't remember why he felt like giving life another chance last night, and he couldn't bring himself to care. He was on a train of depression and was starting to go downhill.

The tears threatened to overwhelm him, but he had already cried last night and didn't want to seem weak. He refused to let the tears fall, even if they're was no one here to see them. Harry gasped on his air trying to breathe deeply but he couldn't, and a strangled sob managed to escape him. He wanted Snape, he just wanted someone to be there for him. But like all things in his life his wishes never comes true. He hitched his breath, looking around wildly for the next best thing. In a moment he had removed his glamours on his arms and was soon adding more slashes to his arms and legs before he could fully think about it. When had it come to this? Why did this feel so good? If he was being honest, it didn't really feel good. It hurt but at the same time, it was relief. The emotions churning inside of him went away when he hurt himself. Because he could now focus on the physical pain, he felt he was able to cope, ever so slightly.

Harry was very much aware this wasn't the right way, but who cared right? He only had himself to lean on, whatever worked for him. He sighed softly to himself starting to feel a little better. But even as the physical pain is the most prominent, the emotional hurt and turmoil he's going through while dampened, is still there and he doesn't know what to do.

He screams, the sound raw and one could hear the hurt in it if they were around. But he's so alone, so very alone. And because no one is there, he keeps cutting and cutting oblivious to how deep he's going. He just wants the pain to stop, he wants to be whole again. Why him? Why does these things always happen to him? When will he ever get a chance at happiness? He's a madman as he slashes his body, no skin is safe, and when he finally does get the feeling of being totally numb he sees that he had bled all over Snape's blankets.

Harry can't bring himself to care about it though, he and takes a shuddering sigh of relief. Everything hurts but at the same time, he feels nothing. At that thought a sudden wave of exhaustion comes over him and all he wants to do is sleep. He barely has the strength to banish the razors but he can't bring up his glamours. He decides to take a short nap and then reapply them when he wakes up before Snape even comes back home. It's a good plan he thinks, so he closes his eyes and allows his body to finally fall into a restful sleep.

It's a pity really, that when he was finally able to get some good sleep, it wasn't without consequences. In his haste to make himself numb and feel better, he hadn't paid attention to what he was doing. And the cuts that he had made had moved from small slashes, to deep cuts and gashes. And as a result they were bleeding freely, and somewhere along the way he's no longer sleep, but unconscious from the blood loss.

Severus was in his after lunch class with the 2nd years Huffelpuff-Ravenclaw and it was going fine, but there was a nagging in his mind that something was wrong. He went around the classroom checking cauldron and student alike and found nothing wrong. The feeling was getting stronger but he ignored it in favor of stopping a Huffelpuff from exploding his cauldron. All through the class he couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right and when class was over he went over everything in head that could be wrong, when Potter popped up. He shook that thought away, he had just seen the child he was fine. What could happen to a child who was on bed rest? His next class was starting and it was the Gryffindor-Slytherin 6th years; he needed his full attention with this class and he pushed that nagging feeling to the back of his mind.

Harry couldn't believe it; he was with his parents and Sirius again. He didn't know how though, he hadn't even put his plan into action yet how could this be possible? He shook his head it didn't really matter how he got there, he was here and that's all that counted. He just hoped no one would bother him like before. This time his mother wasn't crying and she even had this half of a smile on her face like she couldn't decide where she was happy or sad that he was here. He ran and hugged her and he saw that she was both, she started crying on his shoulder but he didn't care he had his mum.

His dad and Sirius came up behind him after he let go of her and tackled him to the ground, he laughed until he thought he couldn't breathe, this was his heaven and he would rather be here with his family then fighting a fight he never wanted to be a part of. He ran back to his mum who reached for his hand and pointed out 2 figures in the distance. There walking to him was his namesake; his grandpa with his grandma. He gasped softly to himself, he couldn't wait to meet him. If this was his heaven, why would he give this up for his life when it was as terrible as they come?

Severus couldn't get rid of the horrible feeling in his gut that something was terribly wrong. The feeling intensified and when he caught sight of Weasley working alone he realized it had to do with Harry. He had to get out here, he vanished all the cauldrons frightening the students in the process but he didn't care.

"CLASS DISMISSED!" He all but roared and ran out of the classroom leaving bewildered students behind.

Severus didn't know how he would find Harry and that was scaring him more and more. He opened his quarters and ran directly to Harry's room where he couldn't stop the "Oh Harry!" that came out of his mouth as he took in the sight before him. The sheets and blankets were bloody and the child was sheet white. He called his house elf Twinkle to bring him potions that Harry was going to need. When he touched the child's body it was ice cold and his heart jumped into throat; he was very scared in that moment. He wasted no time in sending his Patronus to Poppy and got to work. He took in the cuts that were still bleeding and spelled them to stop, he tried to heal them but they wouldn't go away. He spelled blood-replenishing potions into the child's body along with pain relieving potions.

Throughout all of this Harry had a faint pulse, then for a second he had nothing. Severus took note of the numerous scars that littered this child's body and tried to figure out why they never saw them when his heart plummeted as Harry had stopped breathing. Severus couldn't believe it he had already saved the child from near death a week ago and was in the process of doing it again. The real question was would Harry resent him even more when Severus saved his life again? Because there was no doubt in the Slytherin's mind, that he wasn't going to be able to bring the child back.

Before Harry reached his grandparents he felt something tugging at him, like someone was trying to wake him up. It was an annoying feeling and he longed to ignore it in favor of hugging his grandpa but he couldn't. It was probably Snape with his dinner, for all he knew. Then he remembered his cuts weren't covered up! Oh boy, if he was having the heaven dream did that mean that he had almost died again?

Harry's eyes popped opened as he inhaled a giant gasp of air and looked into the terrified eyes of his Professor before his face went blank. Harry didn't want his teacher to think he wanted to kill himself, since he was starting to trust the man; he didn't want that concern to be replaced with disgust. When he decided to end his life he hoped to Merlin that Snape wouldn't be the one to find him. Harry blurted out the first thing he could think of in an attempt to make the situation better.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself sir," Harry panted out. Why was he so breathing so hard, he hadn't been running? What was going on?

"You expect me to believe that Potter? Then please explain to me what the hell you WERE trying to do? These are self-inflicted cuts are they not? You meant to do something, than what was it?" Severus asked tightly, he wanted to strangle and the hug the child, not sure in what order so as it was he was currently glaring at him.

Harry didn't want to tell anymore of his secrets to Snape but it was either explain or have Snape think he was suicidal (even if he technically was he didn't want his teacher to know that)

"I was trying to take away the hurt that I was drowning in. Lately it's been feeling like it's going to rip my insides apart and I needed something to take the pain away. I guess I cut way too deep and then I felt really tired. I'm sorry sir," Harry stated honestly, feeling his face heat up at his admission. God he had so stupid.

"That is not the way to deal with your grief you foolish boy. You have to scream, cry, write it down or talk to someone, anyone, and you could even talk to me if you need too. Just not this; anything but this; you could become addicted to this if you're not careful. Speaking of which, how many times have you've done this already?" Severus asked him seriously.

Harry was looking at the cuts on his arms, it was easier them looking at the angry eyes of his Professor. He could hear the man waiting for an answer and he knew he wasn't getting out of this. "I can't… I don't trust adults; they've always let me down in the past. I have no one left in this world that cares for me. Not the part of me that's famous, but the part that's just Harry; the boy with no one."

Harry's eyes widened as he realized what he just said, he didn't want Snape to know that was how he truly felt. Where had that come from? That was the answer to the question, what the hell? What was it about Snape, that made him want to spill his guts?

Severus narrowed his eyes at that answer, it wasnt the one he wanted but it was important nonetheless. What else had gone on in that house? It did give new perspective on why the child didn't seem to reach out to adults. Severus couldn't believe what he was about to say but the child had to hear it.

"That's not true Harry, what about Granger and Weasley? You 3 are inseparable," he asked, but the boy needed his friends he was starting to see.

"Are we? Then how come they haven't written to me all summer or knew what was going on with me? Where are they? Why have they only tried to visit me once? That doesn't sound like we're inseparable to me," he asked out bitterly.

"I don't know Harry….but it doesn't matter if they can't see how great of a person you are then they don't deserve you," Severus told him softly.

He could see the surprised look in the child's eyes but before anything else could be said they were interrupted by the door. Thinking it was Poppy, Severus rushed to the door and opened it only to reveal a worried looking Draco who was talking in frantic sentences that Severus couldn't half understand.

He led him through the door and without thinking brought Draco with him to Harry's room. He didn't want to leave him alone again and he needed to finish bandaging Harry cuts. He was surprised to see nothing malicious in either of their expressions instead he saw only worry in Draco's and shame in Harry's. He couldn't understand it, so he quietly finished bandaging Harry's scars while the boys talked as if he wasn't there.

"This is the 2nd time in 1 week that you've almost died Harry, does our friendship mean so little to you that you can't let me know how you're really doing? This bloody pendant has taken 5 more years off of my life today Harry. I was in Potions thinking that the worst had happened and from the looks of it, it did," Draco bit out angrily, but his eyes shone the hurt that he didn't want to say.

"I'm sorry Draco; I… this summer was really bad. I just didn't think …I mean I forgot…I'm sorry again," Harry whispered out sadly. Was he going to lose another friendship?

"I know Harry its okay, I just wish you had told me about it. Later never came for our conversation. How's it going with Uncle Severus?" Draco tilted his head, as he asked cryptically.

But honestly Severus read the unasked question, and since when did his godson care about Harry?

"He's not treating me like I deserve to be treated, he's treating me better and I don't know why," Harry told the boy, letting his confusion show at that.

"How?" Draco narrowed his eyes as he waited for Harry's answer, he didn't like the sound of that.

"Nothing bad, just similar to how he treats the snakes, he brings me food for every meal. And I'm allowed to use the toilet when I need to and he doesn't get angry at me for being a freak, " Harry replied grinning at that. It was strange at how emotions were fluctuating so at the moment.

"Harry… WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THAT WORD?" Draco shouted out angrily. They had discussed that particular word numerous times in the past. They actually got into a fight over it a few times.

"Who told you that you were a freak Potter?" Severus asked out dangerously, unable to keep quiet any longer. Though he was learning a bit, he also couldn't let this go.

Both Harry and Draco looked up as Snape spoke they had forgotten he was even in the room with them. They looked at each other before Draco spoke once again.

"The muggles," Draco replied with so much disdain you would have thought that he had tasted something disgusting.

Severus was about to reply when his floo flared, he knowing this had to be Poppy; rushed out to greet her.

"So he's actually helping you huh?" Draco asked when the man walked out the room.

"Well he's trying to," Harry answered quietly.

"Are you going to let him in?" Draco asked curiously, he wanted to know.

"Nope, that would be cruel of me, I nearly gave him a heart attack today as it was," Harry replied coolly.

"How would it be cruel?" Draco asked confused, his godfather was strong and he would protect Harry if the boy let him.

"Because when I die, I don't want him to feel guilty or worse; hurt," Harry sighed out honestly.

"What do you mean when you die?" Draco's eyes narrowed angrily, and his heart clenched painfully as he looked at his friend.

"Nothing ok, I was just saying," Harry said as he took in the boy across from him. He needed to watch what he said.

Draco frowned and shook his head in disbelief as a thought occurred to him. "Harry were you trying to kill yourself?"

"No, I didn't plan on doing that today," Harry smirked out, because it was true. It was irony that had such an expression on his face. When he didn't even try, he nearly succeeded, so that meant when he would finally try he would succeed right?

"What do you mean not today?" Draco murmured out carefully.

"I meant no in general Dray," Harry said with a shake of his head.

"You're a horrible liar Harry… you know that right?" Draco said quietly.

"Only when I want to be Draco," Harry pointed out.

"So what are you saying? You want me to know that you're contemplating throwing your life away?" Draco asked bluntly, because honestly he wasn't in the mood for being subtle and reading in between the lines.

"No, I just want you to be prepared for it just in case. So it won't come as a shock too you when it happens…you know?" Harry answered truthfully.

"No I don't know, and you know what else? That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard Harry. Do you honestly hate life that much?" Draco asked appalled as he really started to look at his friend.

"No, but it doesn't have my parents and Sirius here with me. It hurts living without them, knowing everyone else has someone for them." he muttered morosely.

"And it'll hurt living without you. What am I supposed to do when you off yourself? You've been there for me at every turn; whose gonna tell ME not to jump if your already gone? Huh Harry who?" Draco hissed out, ignoring the stinging in the back of his eyes. He didn't like talking about this.

"Draco don't talk like that, you have everything to live for. Your parents and your Godfather are both alive. Not to mention everyone everywhere knows the Malfoy name you are set for life," Harry told him seriously.

"Except my best friend will be gone, then the only person who actually mattered would be dead. Know this Harry if you do it, I'm gonna be right behind you," Draco managed to get out, those by then his eyes while angry were more shiny then he'd like to admit.

"What are you saying Draco?" Harry asked slowly.

"If you jump I jump; I can't live with that guilt Harry," Draco told softly.

"That's not fair Draco," Harry said with a shake of his head. He couldn't allow his friend to to that.

"Nobody said life was fair Harry," he stated stubbornly.

"I know, it never has been to me in the past, so why would it start now?" Harry muttered out bitterly.

Back in the hall Severus's eyes widened as he took in the end of their conversation. They were thinking about death? Was the Headmaster once again right in his own eccentric way? Vowing to think on that later, Severus led Poppy into Harry's bedroom effectively ending the boy's conversation, as she looked over the fresh wounds.


	7. Chapter 7: That's what Friend's are For

**A/N- So...I dont like Hermione, never have but I'm a huge fan or Ron(when he gets his head out his arse) and of course Draco. So yeah, sorry for Hermione fans. I dont bash her...but she fades to the background as I cannot write her without getting annoyed. Anyway. enjoy.**

**Chapter 7: That's what Friends are For**

The boys quieted when the door opened and Madame Pompfrey bustled in clicking her tongue at Harry, and Severus noticed how unsurprised she looked to see Draco next to him.

"What happened this time Harry?" Poppy asked quietly as she pulled out her wand.

"I…I guess I cut too deep Poppy," Harry replied shamefully at having to admit that.

"Harry that's not healthy at all dear; I'm going to assume you hid these from us because I didn't see them when I healed you the first time. Why did you hide them?" She asked softly, a wave of hurt coursing through her as she realized how much he was truly suffering.

"Because I knew how your reactions would be and I didn't want you to be ashamed of them," Harry sighed quietly as he turned his gaze to his bed covers.

"Oh Harry," she breathed out sadly.

"I'm sorry…I just…" Harry trailed off because in all honesty he didn't know what to say.

"No Harry, don't apologize it's alright. But I can't heal them because you don't want them healed. They will stay until you don't need them anymore. Whenever you feel the urge day or night I want you to come to me or Severus and if we aren't available seek out your friends they will help you," she told him as she rubbed some Dittany on his arms, while they would take the sting out she was right it wouldn't heal them.

As Poppy and Severus talked off on the side, Harry and Draco realized that Snape would have already noticed how friendly they were being. Harry knowing where Snape's loyalties lie wasn't that concern, but Draco was. Even if Snape was his Godfather he was a death eater first and he could tell his father at anytime. Harry looked at Draco's worrying face, he knew what was going through his mind, he only hoped Draco would understand what he was about to do.

"Malfoy what the hell are you looking at?" Harry had to force the anger out, although it did help to think of the Dursleys. Draco's face showed a split second of shock before he caught Harry's knowing look.

"Not you Potter, I came here looking for My Head of House since these are his quarters. What the hell are you doing here anyway?" Draco sneered out, wondering if this was all too late. His godfather wasn't dense, hopefully the man hadn't paid as close attention to them due to Harry's injuries.

Harry noticed Poppy about to say something but he subtly glanced at Snape who was looking at Draco curiously; Harry hoped that she got the message.

"What did you need me for Draco?" Snape asked confusion coursing through his body.

Severus was looking between the boys confusion the prominent emotion on his face. What the heck was going on here? Hadn't the boys just had a civil conversation with each other not 10 minutes ago; what changed? Or had he just imagined that? He shook his head trying to clear his head before facing his godson who was still talking to him.

"You're needed in the Common Room sir, um…something is wrong with Theo, he keeps staring at the wall and shaking his hands out like he wants to cut," Draco swiftly lied.

"Do you know what happened to him?" Severus asked seriously, this is how he knew how to deal with Harry. Self harm was very common with his snakes, they learned it early on and it was his job to un-teach them.

"No sir, all I know is he got a letter from home," Draco replied, he was lying on the spot though. He needed a reason for coming down here, and visiting Harry wasn't going to help him if Snape told his father.

"Merlin he wouldn't would he?" Severus said speaking mostly to himself as he thought about this new situation. He was torn between what to do. The child in front of him had just been revealed that he was a self-harmer and one of his snakes who had been battling with it for 4 years could be on the verge of a relapse. What was he to do? The last thing he wanted was to give Harry the impression that Theo was more important then him.

While Snape pondered what to do, Draco gave Harry a significant look for Harry to distract Snape so he could go and tell Theo the lie he just spouted so they could be ready. Madame Pompfrey had already left at this point, telling Harry she would be back later. Harry sighed and took that time to reach for the pitcher of water on his nightstand. He knew it was too far and if he reached for it he would probably fall and bang his ribs. It was the perfect distraction, and Harry quickly lunged for it and of coursed fell.

Though he had thought the plan through as quick as it had been, he had underestimated how much it would hurt. He saw black spots coming into his vision, and Draco's horrified look until Harry urged him to leave while Snape helped him up. His ribs were on fire, and he wasn't able to stop the hisses and pain as he breathed in and out; Merlin it hurt. Pride be damned he wanted a pain potion, if only he could get the words out.

"Snape," Harry breathed harshly, feeling ready to pass out again.

"Yes Harry, you foolish child you should have asked me to hand it to you if you wanted a drink. Or even Draco could have…..Where is Draco?" Snape asked as he turned around to find the blonde Slytherin gone.

Noticing Snape getting off subject Harry moaned and it wasn't even faked, he really was hurt. The things he did for his friend, Draco owed him. And he would definitly be holding the boy to it.

"Do you want a pain reliever potion Harry?" Snape asked hoping the child said yes.

"If you don't mind, if you do then never mind," Harry replied quickly as he breathed through the pain.

"Silly boy, if I minded I wouldn't have asked," the man replied as he summoned it.

"Oh okay," Harry mumbled out, unsure of how to reply to that.

Harry gratefully swallowed his potion and sighed in relief. Snape's face was still pinched in concern. And hoping it wasn't for him Harry told Snape with a yawn that he was going to sleep.

After spelling Harry's room much to his displeasure, Severus took off to the Slytherin Common room, not knowing what he would find.

It was a few hours later when Harry awoke once more to find Snape coming into his room asking him if he felt well enough to go down to the great Hall for dinner. In all honesty Harry wanted to know what the heck happened when Snape got to the Common Room but he knew he couldn't very well ask the man that. Why would he be concerned about the snakes? And it might bring back suspicious Snape, and he so didn't need that spy for the.

"I'll go to the Great Hall," Harry replied as he got out of bed and pulled on his shoes. He wouldn't be going though, he remembered that he was supposed to be having dinner with the snakes. Which was fine as they all needed to talk.

Harry left Snape's quarters before he did and went straight for the kitchen where Dobby had prepared a basket with dinner for them. Harry took the passage way to the Slytherin Common Room where Daphne, Blaise, and Draco were talking quietly.

"Where's Theo? Harry asked quietly when he didn't see the other Slytherin.

"Went to see Poppy," Daphne answered with a shake of her head.

"Why what happened? Did he actually have to hurt himself? Harry asked horrified, hoping that wasn't the case at all. Or had something else happened?

"Nope he didn't want to do it. Even on purpose, so I did it myself. Only I might have scratched him a little too hard, Daphne replied sheepishly as a flush graced her pale face.

"How was Snape? Harry asked curiously, wanting to know the man's reaction to that.

"He looked disappointed but mostly worried, and I feel guilty since I'm the one who suggested it in the first place," Draco admitted quietly.

"True, you could have gotten another lie, but it had the added effect of getting Snape from giving us weird looks. Anyway Let's go get him, Poppy will be at dinner, and if not she'll still let him go," Harry told him easily.

"Do you think Snape's suspicious? Blaize asked softly, knowing this was a dangerous game they were all.

"He's confused that's for sure," Harry grinned, remembering his teacher's look.

He laughed at the memory and had just passed the basket to Blaize when they turned the corner and saw Ron and Hermione ahead. His inside's froze at his Gryffindor friends, knowing that a confrontational was inevitable now.

"Damn it, I so don't want to deal with them right now," Harry sighed frustrated, he just wanted to relax was that so hard to ask.

"Just get it over with, and then come meet us," Daphne told him quickly knowing this was going to happen so he might as well stop trying to prolong it.

"Fine, I'll meet you in Poppy's special room okay?" He grumbled out as he started distancing himself from his friends.

"Alright and Harry?" Blaize asked casually.

"What? Harry replied turning around to give his a friend a look.

"Forgive me," Blaise said with a grimace as he pulled out his wand.

"Forgive you for…." But Harry never got to finish before he was floating upside down like Snape was in that Pensieve memory he saw back in 5th year. Oh forgive him for this, well this sucked. He had to wonder how the boy knew that particular spell, he didn't think Snape would share that with anyone. He hated how they had to act around everyone else; but time to play his part.

"Let me down you bastard!" He yelled out.

"Sorry Potter, my parents we're married when they conceived me. If anyone's the bastard it's you, you know what they say about mudbloods," Blaize said bitingly, swallowing the bitter bile in his throat. He always hated these jabs, as one day he always felt that Harry would believe them.

Harry's face when red at the boy's comment, yeah he knew it wasnt true but hell one couldn't reason with emotions at all. But he didn't even have a chance to make a retort.

"Aww Potter's all alone without his Gryfindorks," Daphne taunted him.

"Shut up Greengrass you death eater scum, he yelled back." Harry hated this; especially saying it to Daphne. She was the furthest thing from being a death eater, not to mention how he felt about.

"Talk all you want Potty, but just you wait…" Draco had finally joined in the conversation.

Harry was starting to feel a little light headed from all the blood rushing to his head, wondering when would Ron and Hermione notice them.

"Wait for what? Your father is in prison or have you forgotten who put him there? Oh yeah it was me and my friends right? He and his lord got beaten by five 15 year olds!" Harry said gleefully.

Harry quickly mouthed 'I'm sorry' to Draco who didn't look like he felt the least disturbed about the comment. Just when Harry thought he might pass out from all the blood going to his head, his Gryffindor friends came on the scene.

Ron cursed Blaize out of nowhere who had been still holding Harry in the air. From the lost of concentration Harry landed hard on the Stone floor, and he couldn't hold in the ear-piercing scream when his damaged ribs and the stone collided together. His scream caused all of his friends Slytherins and Gryffindors alike to look at him with expressions varying from shock, disbelief, and horror.

McGonagall chose that moment to come around the corner where she stood in shock at the scene before her. Against her protests Harry struggled to get to his feet, he really wished Snape had been the one to find him like this; He didn't want to deal with her. Ignoring his Head of House's disapproving eye and his friend's concerned expressions Harry slowly made his way to the Great Hall.

He knew he couldn't make it to the infirmary alone. He walked in trying not to breathe hard, tears in his eyes he refused to let fall he walked to the nearest table, not even realizing it was the Slytherins until he noticed Pansy looking at him in concern before the expression was blanked. But Harry couldn't bring himself to care. Poppy was sitting at the Head table next to Snape, so Harry decided to walk up there to her. Wincing at every step, by the time he got up there all the teachers were staring at him.

"Madame Pompfrey, sorry for disturbing you. But when are you going back to the infirmary?" Harry asked gasping in pain, and ignoring the concerned eyes of his potion's master that he felt.

"Now, Mr. Potter, let's go." She stood up immediately. Everyone knew that Harry hated the infirmary and would resist every attempt to bring him there. And it frightened her to know that something serious must be wrong for him to come to her all on his own.

Harry walked with Poppy ignoring the stares; after all by now he was used to them. He leaned on her heavily as they made their way to the hospital. When they arrived Theo who was eating dinner stopped after noticing the look on Harry's face.

"What's going on? Theo asked in concern his eyes following Harry's.

"Bruised my already bruised ribs, think I might've re-broken a few, Harry replied casually.

"Yes Mr. Potter you are indeed correct, you have re-broken 3 ribs, fractured another and your wrist we working on has been injured as well. How on earth did this happen?" Poppy asked, appalled at the boy. What had he been doing from Severus's quarters to the Great Hall?

Not wanting to get anyone in trouble Harry said nothing as he took his potions, ignoring Poppy all together. He sighed happily when the pain potion took effect and reached for the sandwich on the tray by the bed. He hadn't known how she had known he hadn't yet eaten. But he could see now that his picnic with his friends was not going to happen today.

"I should get back to Snape, can I leave now?" He asked quickly, hoping she would drop the subject.

"I'm still waiting to know what caused this Harry Potter," Poppy said her gaze told him she wasn't fooled at his attempts to get her to forget.

"Of course Poppy but can I tell you later?" Harry pleaded out with a sigh.

"Alright, I suppose you can. If you can tell Severus I have already given you a pain reliever and don't forget to tell him when you need another one. Why don't you take the floo over the walk might do more harm than good?" She told him, not wanting anymore incidents to come up. He wasn't even partially healed and she didn't want him to do anymore damage.

Harry tensed there was no way in heck that he was going to take the floo, he hated traveling that way regardless of how quick it was.

"No that's okay, I need the exercise," Harry replied before he quickly sped walked out of the infirmary before she could ask more questions. He munched on his impromptu dinner hoping his friend's weren't blaming themselves.

By the time Harry got to Snape's quarters, Snape was pacing in the sitting room. But when he saw Harry he ran to him wand already casting a diagnostic scan.

"You've re-broken a few ribs, how did this come about? I've spoken with Minerva and she told me that Weasley and Granger saw my Slytherins hurting you; is that true?" Severus asked him quietly.

"Well Ron Pushed Bla….err Zabini and I was dropped from the spell that he had cast," Harry replied carefully.

"What spell was he casting?" Severus asked him seriously.

"The one that I saw in you're… I mean I don't know." Harry blushed as he realized what he almost said. Thankfully Snape didn't comment on it. "May I lie down sir?" Harry asked lest Snape think on what he said.

"You may but Minerva told me Weasley and Granger where you were and they wish to see you," Severus said his scowl showing him just what he thought about that.

"Oh okay, in that case I guess I'll just talk to them out here," Harry replied quickly. He didn't want to even go down that road, knowing how Hermione was.

"What's wrong with your room?" Snape asked confused.

"Nothing I just don't want them in there, not to mention if they know that I'm in front of you they'll refrain from acting like my parents. That really gets on my nerves; especially Hermione basically telling me how to do something, as if I don't have a mind of my own." Harry stated heatedly.

"They are your friends are they not? Why don't you just tell them you don't appreciate it when they treat you like a child?" Severus said as if it was obvious.

"Knowing me I'll offend them, Gryffs can be just as dramatic as Puffs," Harry said with a smirk remembering a few times his statement had rang true.

Before the man could reply to that, there was a knock and then the portrait announced that 2 people were at the door. Severus headed into the kitchen to keep an ear out in case the boy needed him.

Harry noticed Ron and Hermione looking around, but he couldn't fault them knowing he had the same reactions when he had first entered his teacher's quarters. He frowned at the look on Hermione's face, groaning inwardly as he recognized it and hated it.

"Hey Harry," Ron said as he took a seat on the chair across from his friend and really looked at him.

"Hey Ron," Harry replied back noticing the pensive look that Ron was giving him but before he could even ask why Hermione started in.

Why do they have you staying with Professor Snape?" Hermione demanded.

"He's teaching me 'Remedial Potions' since my visions have returned," Harry lied swiftly, his eyes meeting Ron's surprisingly worried blue eyes.

"When will you be able to return?" Ron asked quietly.

"I'm not sure, you remember what happened to Sirius? I usually have them at night and he needs to be close to prevent any possessions," Harry replied truthfully. Well that was the truth in a sense, but not why he was staying with Snape.

"Oh okay, I think I understand mate. Did you know that Dumbledore lifted your Quidditch ban off? Now you can play this year," Ron told him excitedly eager to get off the topic of Voldemort.

If Harry was being honest with himself, he could care less about Quidditch right now. All he missed was flying which he got to do anyways. But he knew he couldn't tell Ron that; not when he was taking the news of Harry staying with Snape so well. Which also had him furrowing his brows in disbelief. Just why was Ron taking this so well?

"Really? No the Headmaster didn't tell me that; then again I haven't had my talk with him yet. We are so going to win the house cup this year Slytherin doesn't have a chance." Harry replied excitedlytrying to get Ron pumped up so the subject could fully change.

Ron was about to reply in his eager tone until Hermione came in once more, with her bossy know-it-all tone. That always irked Harry to no end.

"Harry how are you doing, I mean really doing?" She asked bossily.

Harry smiled as he answered, hoping to sustain her if he was being honest. "I'm fine Mione." He could tell that she was annoyed to see that he really did seem alright, she couldn't find any fault in him at all. So she tried again.

"But how are you coping Harry, I mean after losing Sirius you've got to be feeling a bit guilt at least. You've got to talk it out with somebody Harry," she told him smartly;.

Harry's eyes narrowed as his magic suddenly pulsed throughout the room, how dare she. Once again she had stuck her foot in her mouth. He was glad that the thought of Sirius no longer made him feel like he was getting stabbed in the heart over and over again. And the guilt she was talking about was not existent since it wasn't his fault Sirius had died. Not sure what happened to his grief as he thought that over he didn't dwell on it. Maybe he was finally starting to heal.

"Hermione!" Ron admonished; appalled at what she had just said, had she no tact. Not to mention where the hell had that come from?

"Well its true Ron," she defended her self. "I've read about the stages of grief, he's obviously in the denial stage. Harry must talk about it to get over it. Besides he's probably lying about he's really feeling anyway Ron. I'm telling you Harry I know what I'm talking about you don't. Harry, Sirius would not…." But she was interrupted by both Harry and Ron this time.

Harry had enough, where the hell was Snape? Oh well he could handle this himself, he didn't need anyone. Reining his magic to where it only covered Hermione, he knew this would frighten her but right now she needed to be scared. How dare she say those accusations about him? She stared at him fear and shock the prominent emotions on her face. Ron said nothing, although Harry had to admit that e did look like he was trying to control his own magic from lashing out. He gave his friend a grin before subtly shaking his head knowing the red-head knew what he meant.

"For the record Hermione, everyone deals with grief differently. And don't you EVER come in here talking to me like that, as if I'm fragile, or like a child that needs to have his hand held. I'm telling you right now you won't like what I'm going to do. You will get to see firsthand why the darkest wizard of all time fears me. You feel my magic don't you? She nodded; good it's angry with you right now as is Ron's." (For Ron's magic had finally joined in and enclosed her in as well) His face was as red as his hair and he stood there glaring at her with his fists clenched.

"How dare you Mione, Harry looks happier than I've ever seen him around this time of year and you're sitting there trying to dissect him? What the bloody hell is your problem?" Ron asked angrily.

Harry quirked an eyebrow at that; since when was Ron this mature? Could the attack with the brains at the ministry have something to do with it? Did he want to know? Not really but he was proud of his friend.

At that moment Severus finally walked back into the sitting room, noticing and freezing in the same moment at the displays of magic. If he hadn't heard what Granger has said, he would've felt sorry for her but he did and he doesn't. The boys seemed to have their magic under control as they had them wrapped around Granger's body. All in, it was almost certainly a traumatic experience for her, but Severus couldn't do anything for her. If he barged in they could lose control and she would definitely get hurt. When the tears in Granger's eyes started to fall the boy's brought their magic back in, ignoring Granger completely.

"We still got it Harry," Ron said as he high fived Harry about their self control. He grinned having missed doing that with his friend, it had been too long.

"I know mate, man I miss doing that. Remember when we did it in 3rd year and that 6th year Ravenclaw wet his pants?" Harry said laughing at the image.

"Yeah I do, he deserved it though; you don't pick on a 1st year even if they are in Slytherin," Ron replied honestly.

Severus shook his head, did he really know any of the kids, since when did Weasley defend a snake? Clearly he underestimated the children in front of him. If he would've done that at a meeting it would have cost him his life.

Harry smiled to himself he could see the confusion all over Snape's eyes, serves him right, not every Gryffindor tolerates bullying. He was glad that Ron had proved him wrong and angry that Hermione hadn't. He didn't was to deal with her and thankfully Snape spoke up.

"Miss Granger, please exit my quarters. And before you come back I would go over exactly what you said to Harry and what he felt when you said it. I hope that you understand that books aren't always right." Severus snarled at her.

They watched as she walked out tears still falling down her face, with her head down but no one said a thing to call her back. When she had the closed the door behind her Harry finally sighed in relief.

"Thanks Professor!" He called out before disappearing into his room.

Severus shook his head at Harry's silly antics but he wasn't going to deny the child his little fun. He looked at Weasley who looked torn between wanting to go with Harry but not sure he could.

"Ron where are you? Get in here!" Harry yelled out when it became apparent that his friend hadn't followed him.

"Is it okay sir that I go back there?" Ron asked quietly, after all this wasnt his house and regardless of what Harry said, this was Snape they were talking about.

Severus had to wonder since when was Weasley polite, especially to him?

"It's Harry's room; as long as you don't treat him like Granger did you'll be fine." He told the child. Severus grinned as he saw Harry come running back in and grabbed Ron who was gaping in shock at Severus's expression.

"You broke him Professor," Harry exclaimed in amusement as he dragged Ron to his room.

Severus chuckled; if that's all it took to unnerve him, imagine if he actually smiled. Severus went into his lab thinking about how his life had changed in so little time, for the better he was sure of it. He had only just pulled out a cauldron when the familiar burning feeling went through his left arm. He put on his cloak and held his mask in his hand and ran out to the Hogwarts boundary line, and apparated to the Dark Lord's side. Occluding his mind, not focusing on anything but the meeting he was attending just in case the Dark Lord, tried to read his mind, he got into his role as a Death Eater.


End file.
